My uncle, Dr. Carl E. Williams, passed in December of 2021. His daughter, my cousin Langley, asked me to say a few words at his memorial service on May 14th, 2022.
I grew up listening to music on the radio. Before FM, before the left of the dial, way before getting on the radio myself, I was formed by AM Top 40 radio. In 1973, when I was thirteen, a singer named Jim Croce had a hit song called "I Got A Name."
I've got a name. I'm Carl. How ya doin'? All of us here know that name. I got it from my Uncle Carl, Dr. Carl E. Williams, who, bless him, didn't mind sharing his name with his nephew.
Uncle Carl was my biggest fan. That's an odd thing to say at a memorial, but it's true, and it wasn't just about me. Uncle Carl was a big supporter, a big fan, of everyone who mattered to him, friends and family. Nieces and nephews. His kids, and most especially his grandkids. He thought the world of you, of us. And if you had any kind of creative, academic, or competitive spark, any interest in the arts, science, or athletics--in performing, singing, dancing, writing, playing baseball or basketball, teaching, researching, spelling, or in my case, yelling into a microphone for a radio audience of dozens--Uncle Carl was your loudest, proudest cheerleader. You know, I can imagine him grabbing pom-poms and jumping up and down on our behalf, chanting GO TEAM! GO TEAM! GOOOOOOOO TEAM! if he thought it would benefit our efforts. His belief in us was absolute.
My sister Denise reminds me that our Dad always said, "Everyone should have a brother Carl." And Dad was talking about his brother-in-law, our Mom's brother Carl. Family is family. In-laws? What are those? We don't do "in-laws" here. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins. Dad told us, "There isn't a more thoughtful, generous person than your Uncle Carl." And we agreed. We amended Dad's statement to our own perspective: Everyone should have an Uncle Carl. Everyone.
Denise credits Uncle Carl for her introduction to the wonder of New York City--Broadway, the ballet, the Empire State Building--all when she was nine years old. When Denise was thirteen, Uncle Carl gave her the opportunity to see Margot Fonteyn and Rudolph Nureyev dance in Boston. And Denise recently said again, "Yes, everyone should have an Uncle Carl. Genuinely interested in everyone; thoughtful, kind, generous, so brilliant he thinks more than three steps ahead." And my brother Rob said, "I remember him in my own very specific way. First in the eyes of a three-year-old, so proud and happy that my Uncle Carl was staying with us in our flat in Syracuse, NY. He was so tall, so soft-spoken, and to my mind, totally focused on me." See, Uncle Carl was Rob's biggest fan, too!
Rob also mentioned how Uncle Carl helped him when Rob was a recent college graduate, heading to Europe for the summer of 1968 with net assets of approximately...bupkis. Zero. Nada. Rob wouldn't have been able to afford to pay attention. Uncle Carl bought Rob a 90-day Eurorail Pass, enabling Rob's European adventure. Rob added, "The endless instances of empathy, love, and caring continued his entire life."
My Dad often said that Uncle Carl was always there for us. Yeah, I'll testify to that under oath. Uncle Carl never missed a wedding, and he never missed a funeral. He was present for us in our joy and in our sorrow, a celebrant and a comfort in whatever situation. He was part of our lives, in the best sense. And, like Denise just said to me, "Uncle Carl and Mom couldn’t even finish a sentence sometimes, they would laugh so much about a shared memory from childhood."
You all saw the obituary Langley wrote, right? Apologies to Colin and Alan if you also helped write it; you guys need a better publicist. To whomever's credit, I really like these lines describing Uncle Carl: "He was an exceedingly special man, a Renaissance man.... When you’re a published and brilliant acoustical scientist who can recite the lyrics to any Broadway show tune, check (and understand) the stats for his beloved Cardinals, savor an aria from Carmen, but also know what a three-pointer is, you MUST be Carl Williams! There was no one like him." Yeah, that's Uncle Carl, all right. That's the passion I remember. That's the legacy I cherish.
I've got a name. I'm gonna carry it with my like my Daddy did, and like my Uncle Carl did. My name is Carl. I got the name from my uncle. Uncle Carl encouraged me to write, to express myself, to believe in myself the way he believed in me. My biggest fan. Probably your biggest fan, too. Everyone should have an Uncle Carl. I was lucky. My Uncle Carl was the greatest Uncle Carl there ever could be. Yes, I will carry that name with the pride and gratitude its inspiration deserves. Thank you, Uncle Carl. I'm your fan, too.
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