Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do)

My thoughts on pop music and pop culture, plus the weekly playlists from THIS IS ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO with Dana and Carl (Sunday nights 9 to Midnight Eastern, SPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM in Syracuse, sparksyracuse.org). You can support this blog on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=2449453 Twitter @CafarelliCarl All editorial content on this blog Copyright Carl Cafarelli (except where noted). All images copyright the respective owners TIP JAR at https://www.paypal.me/CarlCafarelli

Saturday, October 5, 2019

THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1): Work To Do

An infinite number of songs can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns.

During this limbo period as I await some kind of action on the formal proposal for my book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1), I continue to work toward bringing the book to a completed first draft. I finished (in drafty-draft form) two more entries this week, covering "White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)" by Grandmaster & Melle Mel and "Everywhere That I'm Not" by Translator. That leaves 15 entries still to be done:

P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
CHEAP TRICK: Surrender
THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
EDDIE & THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
DON HENLEY: The Boys Of Summer
LULU: To Sir, With Love [museum outings montage]
MANNIX: Highway Lines
THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
PAUL REVERE & THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
DAVID RUFFIN: I Want You Back
RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
SHOES: Tomorrow Night
THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On

There is still a strong chance that I'll decide to replace one or more of the above songs with something else, or even that I'll replace one or more of the completed first-draft entries with something else. This week, I removed my completed entry for "Liar, Liar" by The Castaways, because I'm my own worst enemy. I also completed a draft for "We Used To Be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols, which I'm holding in reserve in case I can find a place for it.

We were NEVER friends. Quit buggin' me, man.

With or without further alterations to the playlist, the running order of the Table of Contents will almost certainly change. Here's where we're at for now:

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)
OVERTURE A Fistful Of 45s

1. BADFINGER: Baby Blue

2. CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
3. DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
4. THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
5. ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
6. PATTI SMITH: Gloria
7. LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can't Help It
8. NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
9. CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'
10. WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
11. THE HOLLIES: I Can't Let Go
12. THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
13. BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
14. JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
15. THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
16. GLADYS KNIGHT & THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
17. THE RARE BREED: Beg, Borrow And Steal
18. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You're Gonna Miss Me
19. THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
20. PAUL REVERE & THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
21. ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
INTERLUDE The Monkees Seize The Day
22. THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
23. KISS: Shout It Out Loud
24. THE RASPBERRIES: I Wanna Be With You
25. THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
26. THE NEW YORK DOLLS: Personality Crisis
27. THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
28. THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
29. TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
30. SMOKEY ROBINSON & THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
31. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
32. TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I'm Not
33. LESLEY GORE: You Don't Own Me
34. THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
35. P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
36. TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn't I Just Tell You
37. SHOES: Tomorrow Night
38. RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
39. BIG STAR: September Gurls
40. PRINCE: When You Were Mine
41. THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
42. THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
INTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of...The Beatles?!
43. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
44. JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
45. GRAND FUNK: We're An American Band
INTERLUDE Old Time Rock & Roll
46. THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
47. SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
48. THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
49. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
50. THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
ENTR'ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
51. MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
52. THE SEARCHERS: Hearts In Her Eyes
53. THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
54. THE SPINNERS: I'll Be Around
55. ALICE COOPER: School's Out
56. BARON DAEMON & THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
57. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
58. THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
INTERLUDE THE RAMONES: I Don't Want To Grow Up
59. WHAM!: Freedom
60. DAVID RUFFIN: I Want You Back
61. LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
62. BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
63. THE BYRDS: I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better
64. OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
65. THE GO-GO'S: We Got The Beat
66. THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
67. GENE PITNEY: Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
68. THE WHO: I Can't Explain
69. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I'll Be Your Mirror
70. FREDDIE & THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
71. THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
72. SAM & DAVE: Soul Man
73. THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
74. THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
75. HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don't Leave Me This Way
76. THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It?
77. PAUL COLLINS: Walking Out On Love

78. T. REX: 20th Century Boy

79. GRANDMASTER & MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
80. THE KINKS: You Really Got Me
81. THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset
82. THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I'll Be There
83. THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
84. THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
85. THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On
86. MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
87. ELVIS COSTELLO & THE ATTRACTIONS: (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
88. FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
89. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
INTERLUDE The Boys Of Summer
90. THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
91. LULU: To Sir, With Love (Museum Outings Montage)
92. MANNIX: Highway Lines
93. THE SELECTER: On My Radio
94. SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
95. CHEAP TRICK Surrender
96. DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
97. THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John's Band
98. THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
99. EDDIE & THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
100. STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
ENCORE! EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year's Gonna Be Our Year
LAST CALL! THE JAYHAWKS: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
Underrating The Beatles
THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! THE BEATLES: Rain
CLOSING TIME! THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)
CODA Cruisin' Music
BONUS TRACKS/AFTERWORD

I've expanded the afterword to include a short section called "Bonus Tracks," which will be a list of songs (like "Liar, Liar," for example) that were scheduled to be in the book at some point, but were eventually crowded out. The "infinite number taking turns" gimmicks puts each of 'em on equal footing with the songs discussed in the book; I just decided to write about other songs instead. That list may still grow some more yet.

Tom Petty said the waiting is the hardest part, and he was a very wise man. While we wait, the work goes on.

THE PITCH:

THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1)

Our path is finite. Its soundtrack is not.

As pop music fans, we may have one all-time favorite song that stands out for us as the greatest record ever made. But in another moment, we may shift our allegiance to a different song, and then to another. We’re not fickle. We’re enthusiastic, and we’re sincere. We love our music. We lose ourselves in the music we love.

An infinite number of songs can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Acclaimed pop journalist Carl Cafarelli (Goldmine, This Is Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio) brings his own passion and enthusiasm to The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1), a collection of 100 essays about 100 great songs, celebrating both the immortality and the in-the-moment immediacy of the rockin' pop music we cherish. The subjects include Rock And Roll Hall Of Famers like The Beatles, Chuck Berry, The Sex Pistols, Aretha Franklin, The Grateful Dead, David Bowie, Prince, and many more.

But The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) encompasses more than just those enshrined in a Hall of Fame. It includes hit acts like Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, Sammy Ambrose’s forgotten original of “This Diamond Ring,” cult acts like The 13th Floor Elevators and Big Star, teen idols like The Bay City Rollers, and relative unknowns like Baron Daemon and the Vampires: rock, soul, R & B, pop, punk, bubblegum, ska, power pop, girl groups, and disco. This is not a definitive list of the 100 best songs ever recorded. Rather, it's a 100-record block party of great tracks, each one the greatest in its own infinite turn. It's a celebration, exhaustively and enthusiastically crafted by a pop journalist who loves each of these records without reservation.

Why did The Monkees go from the top of the pops in 1967 to seeming has-been status in 1968? How did James Brown respond to the British Invasion? What minefields of racism, sexism, homophobia, ambition, frustration, depression, or loss were navigated by Little Richard, Dusty Springfield, The Go-Go's, Elvis, Sly and the Family Stone, The Kinks, The Beach Boys, The Supremes, and Material Issue's Jim Ellison? Were The Ramones as much a bubblegum band as they were a punk band? When does a group succeed or fail in its quixotic quest to be the next Beatles?

Our favorite records don't live in isolation. Each one has a story. The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) mixes history lessons, artist appreciation, and the ways in which the records we love can deeply affect our personal lives. Part personal memoir and part rockin’ pop record hop, The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) is the book for anyone who’s ever yelled “Turn It Up!”

Or, better yet: “Play that again!” Your infinite turn awaits. Welcome to the world of The Greatest Record Ever Made!

TIP THE BLOGGER: CC's Tip Jar!

You can support this blog by becoming a patron on Patreon: Fund me, baby!

Fans of pop music will want to check out Waterloo Sunset--Benefit For This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio, a new pop compilation benefiting SPARK! Syracuse, the home of This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl. TIR'N'RR Allstars--Steve Stoeckel, Bruce Gordon, Joel Tinnel, Stacy Carson, Eytan Mirsky, Teresa Cowles, Dan Pavelich, Irene Peña, Keith Klingensmith, and Rich Firestone--offer a fantastic new version of The Kinks' classic "Waterloo Sunset." That's supplemented by eleven more tracks (plus a hidden bonus track), including previously-unreleased gems from The Click Beetles, Eytan Mirsky, Pop Co-Op, Irene Peña, Michael Slawter (covering The Posies), and The Anderson Council (covering XTC), a new remix of "Infinite Soul" by The Grip Weeds, and familiar TIRnRR Fave Raves by Vegas With Randolph, Gretchen's Wheel, The Armoires, and Pacific Soul Ltd. Oh, and that mystery bonus track? It's exquisite. You need this. You're buying it from Futureman.

(And you can still get our 2017 compilation This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio, Volume 4, on CD from Kool Kat Musik and as a download from Futureman Records.)

Get MORE Carl! Check out the fourth and latest issue of the mighty Big Stir magazine at bigstirrecords.com/magazine

Hey, Carl's writin' a book! The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) will contain 100 essays (and then some) about 100 tracks, plus two bonus instrumentals, each one of 'em THE greatest record ever made. An infinite number of records can each be the greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Updated initial information can be seen here: THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1).

Friday, October 4, 2019

Fake THIS IS ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO Playlist: Biography On TIRnRR

This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl is simply too large a concept to be neatly contained within a mere three-hour weekly time slot. Hence these occasional fake TIRnRR playlists, detailing shows we're never really going to do...but could.

Today's phony TIRnRR playlist collects a bunch of songs with titular references to famous people. Yes, it's Biography on TIRnRR.

The resulting list certainly favors songs about songsters (The Ramones, Levis Stubbs, Suzi Quatro, Ray Davies, Emmylou Harris, Ray Charles, Joan Jett, Bo Diddley, Micky Dolenz, The Monkees, David Cassidy, King Elvis I, The Bay City Rollers, John & Yoko, Paul McCartney & Wings, George Harrison, Mick Jagger, Carly Simon, Debbie Harry, Otis Redding, Paul Revere and his Raiders, The Beatles, Eddie Cochran, Joe Meek, Jackie Wilson, Robin Zander, Syd Barrett, Alex Chilton, Joey Ramone, and The Shadows). But we found time for actors (Marie Provost, Robert DeNiro), painters (Pablo Picasso, Vincent van Gogh), writers (Richard Brautigan, Sylvia Plath, Zelda Fitzgerald, Jack Kerouac), historical figures (King Henry VIII, Queen Victoria, The Red Baron, Jim Bowie, James K. Polk, Lewis and Clark, George Washington, Robert Ford, Alexander Graham Bell), and convicted killers (Gary Gilmore, Charles Manson), plus one wrestler (Captain Lou Albano), and LBJ's daughter Luci Baines, and TV personality Maria Bartoromo. We are the world! Everything is as it was then, except YOU ARE THERE!

Wait--wrong TV show. Stay tuned for Biography on TIRnRR.

This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl--y'know, the real one--plays Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse on The Spark WSPJ-LP 103.3 and 93.7 FM, and on the web at http://sparksyracuse.org/

Spark Syracuse is supported by listeners like you. Tax-deductible donations are welcome at http://sparksyracuse.org/support/

You can follow Carl's daily blog Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do) at
https://carlcafarelli.blogspot.com/

Hey, Carl's writin' a book! The Greatest Record Ever Made will contain 100 essays (and then some) about 100 tracks, plus two bonus instrumentals, each one of 'em THE greatest record ever made. An infinite number of records can each be the greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Updated initial information can be seen here: THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1)THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1)

Fans of pop music will want to check out Waterloo Sunset--Benefit For This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio, a new pop compilation benefiting SPARK! Syracuse, the home of This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl. TIR'N'RR Allstars--Steve Stoeckel, Bruce Gordon, Joel Tinnel, Stacy Carson, Eytan Mirsky, Teresa Cowles, Dan Pavelich, Irene Peña, Keith Klingensmith, and Rich Firestone--offer a fantastic new version of The Kinks' classic "Waterloo Sunset." That's supplemented by eleven more tracks (plus a hidden bonus track), including previously-unreleased gems from The Click Beetles, Eytan Mirsky, Pop Co-Op, Irene Peña, Michael Slawter (covering The Posies), and The Anderson Council (covering XTC), a new remix of "Infinite Soul" by The Grip Weeds, and familiar TIRnRR Fave Raves by Vegas With Randolph, Gretchen's Wheel, The Armoires, and Pacific Soul Ltd. Oh, and that mystery bonus track? It's exquisite. You need this. You're buying the digital download from Futureman and/or the CD from Kool Kat Musik.

Fake TIRnRR Playlist: Biography On TIRnRR

MOTORHEAD: Ramones
--
BILLY BRAGG: Levi Stubbs' Tears
NICK LOWE: Marie Provost
SCREEN TEST: Richard Brautigan
NRBQ: Captain Lou
THE BLONDES: Suzi Quatro
HERMAN'S HERMITS: I'm Henry VIII, I Am
--
THE KINKS: Victoria
DOUG POWELL: A Prayer For Ray Davies
GIRLS SAY YES: Sylvia Plath
THE ROYAL GUARDSMEN: Snoopy Vs The Red Baron
THE DICKIES: Jim Bowie
FIRST AID KIT: Emmylou
--
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS: James K. Polk
JOE TEX: You're Right, Ray Charles
THE LAUNDERETTES: What Would Joan Jett Do?
THE ADVERTS: Gary Gilmore's Eyes
THE JOHNNY POPSTAR LUV EXPLOSION: Charlie Manson Eyes
BO DIDDLEY: Bo Diddley 1969
--
ADAM MARSLAND: The Night I Bought Micky Dolenz A Beer
THE MONKEES: (Theme From) The Monkees
JOEY RAMONE: Maria Bartoromo
THE AMERICAN FOUR: Luci Baines
THE LONG RYDERS: Looking For Lewis And Clark
BANANARAMA: Robert DeNiro's Waiting
--
KEN SHARP: I Wanna Be David Cassidy
THE MODERN LOVERS: Pablo Picasso
DON McLEAN: Vincent
THE RINGLING SISTERS: Garden Of Allah (Once Again For Zelda)
WILLIE ALEXANDER & THE BOOM BOOM BAND: Kerouac
STIFF LITTLE FINGERS: Who Died And Made You Elvis?
--
THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Washington's Birthday
THE TARTAN HORDE: Bay City Rollers, We Love You
ELTON JOHN: I Feel Like A Bullet (In The Gun Of Robert Ford)
THE BEATLES: Ballad Of John & Yoko
HANNAH CRANNA: Paul McCartney And Wings
REDD KROSS: Janus, Jeanie And George Harrison
--
CANDI SLICE: Gimme Mick
THE GROOVIE GHOULIES: Carly Simon
SWEET: Alexander Graham Bell
THE B-52'S: Debbie
DON DIXON & THE JUMP RABBITS: The Night That Otis Died
PAUL REVERE & THE RAIDERS: The Legend Of Paul Revere
--
LIQUOR GIANTS: Beatles Please Come Back
HEINZ: Just Like Eddie
GRAHAM PARKER: Just Like Joe Meek's Blues
VAN MORRISON: Jackie Wilson Said
THE BREAKUP SOCIETY: Robin Zander
THE DIPSOMANIACS: Syd Barrett
THE REPLACEMENTS: Alex Chilton
AMY RIGBY: Dancing With Joey Ramone
THE BEATLES: Cry For A Shadow

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Intro: My Life In The '70s [a sneak peek at the next chapter of SINGERS, SUPERHEROES, AND SONGS ON THE RADIO]

What you're about to read was originally distributed privately to my paid patrons on 2/1/19. At the time, it was intended as a sneak peek at the small amount I had written as the introductory chapter of an autobiographical series about my life in the '70s. Under the collective title Singers, Superheroes, And Songs On The Radio: My Life In Pop Culture, it would have been a sequel to the previously-posted nine-part story of my life in the '60s, partially bridging the gap between my '60s storyline and my '80s storyline The Road To Goldmine.

As noted, I was having difficulty moving forward with the reminiscence, but still hoped to eventually come back and finish it. I do still hope to finish it, but if I do, it may not be for the blog. Even as I continue to work on my book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) and sweat over whether or not that book will snag the interest of a potential publisher, I'm already thinking of what my second book should be. And right now, I think it should be my pop-cult autobiography, Singers, Superheroes, And Songs On The Radio. Don't place any bets on it, but that's my grand plan as of the moment.

In the mean time, here's the sneak peek my patrons saw back in February.

Singers, Superheroes, And Songs On The Radio: My Life In Pop Culture was my first real attempt to write a new, long-form piece for this blog. Well, my aborted rock 'n' roll superhero time travel novel Eternity Man! was technically first, but my autobiographical retrospective of reading comic books and listening to pop songs as a kid in the '60s was the first to find an audience. The first chapter was posted on March 9th of 2016, and the serial ran for a total of nine chapters, all ultimately collected for posterity as a single post on April 1st of that year. Quick work! That '60s portion concluded with a promise to pick up where I left off--September 1970--and resume my tale with a chronicle of my life in the 1970s.

Nearly three years later, that tale remains unwritten. I confess that I'm intimidated by it, but I still come back to pick at it, here and there, with an intent to follow through some day...soon. Definitely soon. I've addressed pieces of the story in many other posts, but the whole thing? I want to write it. I do. I just haven't been ready for it yet. (I surprised myself by writing about my life in the '80s first, and that's likely my favorite piece in the long and storied history of Boppin' [Like The Hip Folks Do].)

Growing up is hard to do. That may be why I never really completed the whole growin' up thing to begin with. Looking back on the process--the mistakes and missteps, the little victories and crushing defeats, the persistent, gnawing ache of asking Why did I do that...?!, and the sad realization that the only answer is God, I just don't know--is just as hard.

But I'm going to do it. Definitely soon. "Soon" in the cosmic sense. But soon. Meanwhile, here's a sneak peek at what's written so far:

Beginning a new chapter in Singers, Superheroes, And Songs On The Radio, my recollection of reading comics and listening to records while growing up in the '60s and '70s. We've discussed the 1960s already, and we went off on a '60s/'70s tangent about The Monkees and The Girl I Knew Somewhere. My multi-part series The Everlasting First also looks back on some of the same time frames, as well. But it's time to rejoin the narrative proper.

SEPTEMBER 1970: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

I suppose no one will ever confuse Roxboro Road Middle School in Mattydale, New York with the Hell depicted in Dante's Inferno, but it seemed pretty damned intimidating to me. I was ten years old. I should have still been with my peers, my friends, who were entering fifth grade at Bear Road Elementary in North Syracuse. Why was I bypassing fifth grade? Whose fershlugginer idea was it for me to skip a grade? I'm in sixth grade now?! How in God's name was I supposed to deal with this?

Badly. That's how the answer turned out. I would deal with it badly. But what the hell. At least I got some stories out of it, right?

Looking back, I realize now that some of my problems were of my own doing. I didn't think that at the time, and it took me decades to even consider the possibility that some bad things may have possibly been my fault, in part or in full. Sometimes I thought too much; sometimes I didn't think nearly as much as I should have. I was ten years old. That is neither excuse nor explanation. It's just what I was. I was ten, and already committed to the biggest mistake of my life.

Do they still let kids skip grades? My gut says that anonymous "they" must have learned their lesson by now, that they must have come to understand that a child who is advanced in some academic aspect--like, say, reading comprehension--might not possess commensurate emotional or social tools. He or she may seem a whiz at one thing or another, and still not really be ready to leap forward at a time when surer, steadier, and more gradual steps might be more prudent. I'm convinced that skipping grades is a bad idea. When I build...steal a time machine, my first order of business will be to see The Beatles play in Hamburg, Also my second, third, fourth, and fifth order of business. But eventually, I'd get around to setting the WABAC Machine to 1970, and delaying my entry into middle school until I was eleven.

Roxboro Road Middle School. I was ten. I shouldn't have been there. But there I was. Hijinks ensued.

For all that, it would still be unfair to pin all of my subsequent problems on accelerated entry into middle school. I was born weird; I didn't achieve weirdness, or have weirdness thrust upon me. I would have been weird no matter what. No power on Earth was ever going to change that. In fourth grade, though, I felt like I was beginning to fit in. For the rest of my life, I would never again know that feeling, that elusive sense of belonging. Maybe fifth grade would have helped. I guess we'll never know.

TO BE CONTINUED. Some day.

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Wednesday, October 2, 2019

BOPPIN's Monthly Day Off (Private Ramones)

Once a month, Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do) takes a break from its daily schedule to produce a private post only for its paid patrons. This month's private post is another unpublished chapter from my forthcoming book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1), this time discussing "I Don't Want To Grow Up" by The Ramones. Boppin' will resume daily public posting tomorrow.

For as little as $2 a month, patrons of this blog receive at least one private post each month. Wanna be in with the In Crowd? Fund me, baby!