Thursday, May 7, 2026

THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! Rihanna, "Shut Up And Drive"

Drawn from previous posts, this is not part of my book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1).

An infinite number of track can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Today, this is THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE!

RIHANNA: Shut Up And Drive
Written by Evan Rogers and Carl Sturken, based on "New Monday" by Stephen Morris, Peter Hook, Bernard Sumner, and Gillian Gilbert
Produced by Evan Rogers and Carl Sturken
Single from the album Good Girl Gone Bad, Def Jam Records, 2007

Rihanna's "Shut Up And Drive" is a stupid song about sex. But it's a great stupid song about sex, probably the best-ever stupid song about sex, and a legit contender for my all-time Hot 200. Yeah, even among songs that may or may not be stupid and may or may not be about sex.

I remember hearing Rihanna's hit "Umbrella" in 2007, and not being especially taken with it. In 2008, the updated version of her Good Girl Gone Bad (Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded) landed into my consciousness via my then-teen daughter, whose interest in "Take A Bow" and "Disturbia" brought those songs to my attention as well. I was a little surprised to discover I liked them (especially "Disturbia"), but I did indeed like them.

I missed out on the track "Shut Up And Drive." I'd heard it, but I never noticed it until a random search for playlist ideas brought me to it again. It was like a brand new song to me, and I loved it.

(How did I know I loved it? The fact that I played it on obsessive repeat would be a pretty clear clue to that.)

Wikipedia describes "Shut Up And Drive" as a new wave song--no, really!--based on "Blue Monday" by New Order. No offense to the mopey British guys, but I prefer it the way Rihanna did it.

"Shut Up And Drive" strikes me as a sort-of equivalent to "Heavy Music" by Bob Seger and the Last Heard, a track I initially dismissed as a stupid song about sex before realizing it was--you guessed it!--a great stupid song about sex. 

Rihanna's song is greater. Drive, baby. Drive.

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I compiled a various-artists tribute album called Make Something Happen! A Tribute To The Flashcubes, and it's pretty damned good; you can read about it here and order it here. My new book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) is now available, and you can order an autographed copy here. You can still get my previous book Gabba Gabba Hey! A Conversation With The Ramones from publisher Rare Bird Books, OR an autographed copy here. If you like the books, please consider leaving a rating and/or review at the usual online resources.

This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl airs Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse at SPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM, streaming at SPARK stream and on the Radio Garden app as WESTCOTT RADIO. You can read about our history here.

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