ROCK THE COIN RIGHT INTO THE SLOT: The Definitive Rock 'n' Roll Jukebox

A jukebox is only as good as the records it plays.  Oh, you can argue about the kitsch-nostalgia aesthetics of your classic jukebox, but it still comes down to the tunes.  Whether the juke fodder of your choice involves George Jones declaring that the race is on, or LL Cool J warning you not to call it a comeback, a great jukebox is defined by its selection of great records.
 

Our task today is to stock the definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox.  The jukebox we’ve chosen (from a perusal of the Jukebox Museum at www.wurlitzer-jukebox.com) is a Wurlitzer Model 2300 from 1959, a beautiful record machine that offers 200 selections; to stock it, we need to compile the 100 45s that, taken as a whole, offer the best time capsule of the jukebox experience.  Such a jukebox would rely heavily on records that stand up to endless replay in a mythic roadhouse on a weekend night, blastin’ out a soundtrack for an inebriated mob pissing away its hard-earned paychecks in pursuit of a good ol’ time.  This is not a Pet Sounds crowd.

The singles are listed alphabetically by artist (with one exception; see below).  Each entry was released as a  7” 45 rpm single in the U.S., and no Oldies 45 reissues are allowed.  On the other hand, this is one of the few times that vinyl junkies needn’t be concerned with collectibles; we don’t need the rare original version of “96 Tears” by ? and the Mysterians (Pa-Go-Go 102) when the # 1 hit single re-release (Cameo 428) suits our purposes just fine.

 

The list tries to strike some sort of uneasy balance between obvious jukebox crowd-pleasers and a few idiosyncratic, outta-left-field choices, just to give our jukebox some personality.  B-sides are certainly a factor; for example, Benny Spellman’s “Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)” is specifically included for its B-side, the oft-covered “Fortune Teller.”  Many of our other selections are likewise enhanced by cool B-sides, from Johnny Cash (whose “Get Rhythm” is juke-worthy in its own right) to Prince (whose “Erotic City” might get you slapped, or it might get you...well, who knows?)
 

The first single listed on our jukebox is “Louie Louie” by The Kingsmen.  Simply put, “Louie Louie” is the sine qua non of jukedom:  the top, the Coliseum, the Louvre Museum, etc.  White Castle, even.  This warhorse was first written and recorded by Richard Berry in 1956, and has subsequently been covered by everybody, but not one other version has ever equaled the cathartic rush of The Kingsmen's triumphantly inept hit reading.  A sonic mess, badly recorded and marginally played, it is nonetheless a strong candidate for the title of Greatest Record Of All Time.  And it appears before the start of our otherwise-alphabetical listing simply to re-state its preeminence in rock 'n' roll:  a jukebox that doesn't include "Louie Louie" forfeits any claim to being a rock 'n' roll jukebox.

(One could make a compelling case that “Rock Around The Clock” by Bill Haley And His Comets should occupy this position, since it’s [perhaps arguably] considered the record that officially began the rock ‘n’ roll era.  Consider this a judgment call, just one of several such judgment calls you’ll encounter along the way.)

            

We’re using a pretty broad definition of rock ‘n’ roll, encompassing pure rock ‘n’ roll (from Chuck Berry to The Beatles and so on), and also including rockabilly, soul, R & B, punk, funk, garage, psychedelia, doo-wop, hard rock, new wave, power pop, even a little country and disco.  Singles that seem evocative of an imaginary Jukebox Aesthetic are natural choices.  These include singles which deal specifically with jukebox themes:  “You’re Still On My Mind” by George Jones opens with George moaning that, “The jukebox is playin’ a honky tonk song;” in “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll,” a prospective lover urges Joan Jett to put another dime in the jukebox.  And “The Breakup Song (They Don’t Write ‘Em)” by The Greg Kihn Band is an irresistible choice for its tale of listening to the jukebox as what used to be Your Special Song plays a mere hour after you and Your Special Someone have finally, irrevocably said sayonara.  They don’t write ‘em like that anymore.

Working class anthems also make good jukebox fare.  Fats Domino's “Blue Monday,” The Easybeats’ “Friday On My Mind,” Little Richard’s “Rip It Up” and The Vogues’ “Five O’Clock World” are exactly the sort of last-call to arms for which a wage slave AWOL on a Friday night wants to surrender his or her quarters.  The same goes for singles that celebrate partying, call the crowd to dance, or chronicle the many ups and downs of romance, from the mating rituals of the horny American male described in The Coasters’ “Searchin’”/“Youngblood” to the soulful sense of loss crying from the grooves in The Chi-Lites’ “Have You Seen Her.”

Stocking a definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox demands a historical perspective, which is why most of the stuff here ranges from 30-60 years old.  Nirvana’s 1991 grunge landmark “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is a relative newbie at a mere 25 years of age.  The only exception is “Making Teenage Faces,” a 2002 single by The Exploding Hearts, a dynamic young group from Portland, Oregon, whose career was tragically cut short by a fatal traffic accident in 2003.  “Making Teenage Faces” is an exuberant throwback to late ‘70s UK pop-punk, a la The Undertones, The Buzzcocks, The Boys and Generation X, and it needs to be here as a rockin’ memorial to these guys, and as a potent reminder that great rock ‘n’ roll is still being made today.

The Exploding Hearts record is one of those outta-left-field choices mentioned above, the less-obvious (and occasionally obscure) records mixed in just to shake it up, baby.  Others include Eddie and the Hot Rods’ liberating power pop manifesto “Do Anything You Wanna Do,” Adam Faith’s beat raver “It’s Alright,” The Lyres’ Nuggets-inspired “Help You Ann,” The Moving Sidewalks’ Texas garage gem “99th Floor” (featuring a pre-ZZ Top Billy Gibbons), Billy Riley’s rockabilly touchstone “Red Hot,” Ronnie Spector’s ace realization of Billy Joel’s Ronettes tribute “Say Goodbye To Hollywood” and Wilmer and the Dukes’ forgotten soul classic “Give Me One More Chance.”  These are on our definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox because, c’mon, we need something beyond just the hits, the crowd-pleasers, the recognized classics. 

Why do we need more?  Well, if you chanced across a promising-looking jukebox in your travels, would you as a record fan be more thrilled to see a bunch of great but predictable selections, or would you instead be knocked out to discover something unexpected?  Forget about your personal all-time Top 10 45s--wouldn’t you just love to find that obscure single you dug back in junior high, sitting there on a jukebox, waiting for your pay to play?  I love The Beatles more than any other group, but if I found a jukebox with, say, “Good Grief Christina” by Chicory Tip or “Mr. Monday” by The Original Caste, I’d forget all about the Fabs for a few minutes.

Which leads us to this point:  before we even start, we have to concede that this is a fool's errand.  There's no such thing as a "definitive" jukebox.  Hell, even the list you’re about to read changed about a zillion times between conception and publication.  But no two people are ever gonna agree 100% on a list like this one, so there’s lots of room for argument here.

But we can argue later--that's why the good Lord above invented the comments section to begin with.  Meanwhile, grab some quarters and grab your honey, as the definitive rock 'n' roll jukebox cordially invites you to haul your ass to the dancefloor.  Let's get this juke joint jumpin'!   

(And a quick tip of the lid to Dave Murray, Dana Bonn, John M. Borack, Randy Myers, Tim Neeley, and Ron Wray for helping us stock this jukebox right.)

           

THE DEFINITIVE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL JUKEBOX:

1. THE KINGSMEN:  “Louie Louie”/“Haunted Castle” (Wand 143)
2. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS:  “You're Gonna Miss Me”/“Tried To Hide” (International Artists 107)

3. AC/DC:  “You Shook Me All Night Long”/“Have A Drink On Me” (Atlantic 3761)

4. ARTHUR ALEXANDER:  “You Better Move On”/ “A Shot Of Rhythm And Blues” (Dot 16309)

5. THE ANGELS:  “My Boyfriend's Back”/“(Love Me) Now” (Smash 1834)

6. THE ANIMALS:  “It's My Life”/“I'm Going To Change The World” (MGM 13414)

7. BADFINGER:  “Baby Blue”/ “Flying” (Apple 1844)

8. THE BEACH BOYS:  “I Get Around”/“Don't Worry Baby” (Capitol 5174)

9. THE BEATLES:  “I Want To Hold Your Hand”/“I Saw Her Standing There” (Capitol 5112)

10. CHUCK BERRY:  “Johnny B. Goode”/“Around And Around” (Chess 1691)

11. JAMES BROWN AND THE FAMOUS FLAMES:  “Please, Please, Please”/“Why Do You Do Me” (Federal 12258)

12. SOLOMON BURKE:  “Everybody Needs Somebody To Love”/“"Looking For My Baby” (Atlantic 2241)

13. THE JOHNNY BURNETTE TRIO:  “The Train Kept A-Rollin'”/“Honey Hush” (Coral 61719)

14. JOHNNY CASH:  “I Walk The Line”/“Get Rhythm” (Sun 241)

15. THE CASTAWAYS: “Liar, Liar”/“Sam” (Soma 1433)

16. RAY CHARLES:  “(Night Time Is) The Right Time”/“Tell All The World About You” (Atlantic 2010)

17. CHEAP TRICK:  “Surrender”/“Auf Wiedersehen” (Epic 50570)

18. THE CHI-LITES:  “Have You Seen Her”/“Yes I'm Ready (If I Don't Get To Go)” (Brunswick 55462)

19. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE:  “Bits And Pieces”/“All Of The Time” (Epic 9671)

20. THE COASTERS:  “Searchin'”/“Young Blood” (Atco 6087)

21. EDDIE COCHRAN:  “Somethin Else”/“Boll Weevil Song” (Liberty 55203)

22. ARTHUR CONLEY:  “Sweet Soul Music”/”Let’s Go Steady” (Atco 6463)

23. THE CONTOURS:  “Do You Love Me”/“Move, Mr. Man” (Gordy 7005)

24. SAM COOKE:  “Bring It On Home To Me”/“Having A Party” (RCA 8036)

25. DICK DALE AND THE DEL-TONES:  “Miserlou”/“Eight Till Midnight” (Capitol 4939)

26. BO DIDDLEY:  “You Can't Judge A Book By It’s Cover”/“I Can Tell” (Checker 1019)

27. DION:  “Ruby Baby”/“He'll Only Hurt You” (Columbia 42662)

28. FATS DOMINO:  “Blue Monday”/“What's The Reason I'm Not Pleasing You” (Imperial 5417)

29. THE DRIFTERS:  “On Broadway”/“Let The Music Play” (Atlantic 2182)

30. THE EASYBEATS:  “Friday On My Mind”/“Made My Bed” (United Artists 50106)

31. EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS:  “Do Anything You Wanna Do”/“Ignore Them (Always Crashing In The Same Bar)” (Island 093)

32. THE EVERLY BROTHERS:  “All I Have To Do Is Dream”/“Claudette” (Cadence 1348)

33. THE EXPLODING HEARTS:  “Making Teenage Faces”/“Your Shadow” (Vinyl Warning 05)

34. ADAM FAITH WITH THE ROULETTES:  “It’s Alright”/“I Just Don’t Know” (Amy 913)

35. THE FOUR TOPS:  “Reach Out I'll Be There”/ “Until You Love Someone” (Motown 1098)

36. ARETHA FRANKLIN:  “Respect”/“Dr. Feelgood” (Atlantic 2403)

37. THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR:  “Let Her Dance”/“Another Sad And Lonely Night” (Mustang 3006)

38. MARVIN GAYE:  “Ain't That Peculiar”/“She's Got To Be Real” (Tamla 54122)

39. THE GO-GO'S:  “We Got The Beat”/“Can't Stop The World” (IRS 9903)

40. BILL HALEY AND HIS COMETS:  “(We’re Gonna) Rock Around The Clock”/“Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” (Decca 29124)

41. THE HOLLIES:  “I Can’t Let Go”/“I’ve Got A Way Of My Own” (Imperial 66158)

42. BUDDY HOLLY:  “Peggy Sue”/“Everyday” (Coral 61885)           

43. THE ISLEY BROTHERS:  “Twist And Shout”/“Spanish Twist” (Wand 124)

44. WANDA JACKSON:  “Let’s Have A Party”/“Cool Love” (Capitol 4397)

45. RICK JAMES:  "Bustin’ Out”/“Sexy Lady” (Gordy 7167)

46. TOMMY JAMES AND THE SHONDELLS:  "Mony Mony"/"One Two Three And I Fell" (Roulette 7008)

47. JOAN JETT AND THE BLACKHEARTS:  “I Love Rock 'n' Roll”/“You Don't Know

What You've Got” (Boardwalk 135)

48. THE JIVE FIVE:  “What Time Is It?”/“Beggin’ You Please” (Beltone 2024)

49. GEORGE JONES:  “You’re Still On My Mind”/“Cold, Cold Heart” (Mercury 72010)

50. THE GREG KIHN BAND:  “The Breakup Song (They Don't Write 'Em)”/“When The Music Starts” (Beserkley 47149)

51. BEN E. KING:  “Stand By Me”/“On The Horizon” (Atco 6194)

52. THE KINKS:  “Till The End Of The Day”/“Where Have All The Good Times Gone” (Reprise 0454)

53. KISS:  “Shout It Out Loud”/“Sweet Pain” (Casablanca 854)

54. GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE PIPS:  “Midnight Train To Georgia”/“Window Raising Granny” (Buddah 383)

55. JERRY LEE LEWIS:  “Great Balls Of Fire”/“You Win Again” (Sun 281)

56. LITTLE RICHARD:  “Rip It Up”/“Ready Teddy” (Specialty 579)

57. THE LYRES:  “Help You Ann”/“I Really Want You Right Now” (Ace Of Hearts 105)

58. MARTHA AND THE VANDELLAS:  “Nowhere To Run”/“Motoring” (Gordy 7039)

59. THE MELLO-KINGS:  “Tonite, Tonite”/“Do Baby Do” (Herald 502)

60. THE MIRACLES:  “Going To A Go-Go”/“Choosey Beggar” (Tamla 54127)

61. THE MOVING SIDEWALKS:  “99th Floor”/“What Are You Going To Do” (Wand 1156)

62. NIRVANA:  “Smells Like Teen Spirit”/“Even In His Youth” (DGC 19050)

63. ROY ORBISON:  “Crying”/“Candy Man” (Monument 447)

64. CARL PERKINS:  “Blue Suede Shoes”/“Honey, Don’t!” (Sun 234)

65. WILSON PICKETT:  “In The Midnight Hour”/“I’m Not Tired” (Atlantic 2289)

66. GENE PITNEY:  “Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa”/ “Lonely Night Dreams (Of Far Away Arms)” (Musicor 1034)

67. THE PLIMSOULS:  “A Million Miles Away”/“Play The Breaks” (Geffen 29600)

68. THE POLICE:  “Roxanne”/“Dead End Job” (A&M 2096)

69. ELVIS PRESLEY:  “Hound Dog”/“Don’t Be Cruel” (RCA 47-6604)

70. PRINCE:  “Let’s Go Crazy”/“Erotic City” (Warner Brothers 29216)

71. ? AND THE MYSTERIANS:  “96 Tears”/“Midnight Hour” (Cameo 428)

72. THE RAMONES:  “Do You Wanna Dance”/“Babysitter” (Sire 1017)

73. LOU RAWLS:  “Love Is A Hurtin’ Thing”/“Memory Lane” (Capitol 5709)

74. OTIS REDDING:  “Try A Little Tenderness”/“I'm Sick Y'All” (Volt 141)

75. PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS:  “Just Like Me”/“B.F.D.R.F. Blues” (Columbia 43461)

76. CHARLIE RICH:  “Lonely Weekends”/“Everything I Do Is Wrong” (Phillips 3552)

77. THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS:  “Little Latin Lupe Lu”/“I'm So Lonely” (Moonglow 215)

78. BILLY RILEY AND THE LITTLE GREEN MEN:  “Red Hot”/“Pearly Lee” (Sun 277)

79. THE ROLLING STONES:  “Honky Tonk Women”/“You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (London 910)

80. THE ROMANTICS:  “What I Like About You”/“First In Line” (Nemperor 7527)

81. SAM AND DAVE:  “Soul Man”/“May I Baby” (Stax 231)

82. DEL SHANNON:  “Keep Searchin' (We'll Follow The Sun)”/“Broken Promises” (Amy 915)

83. THE SHIRELLES:  “Will You Love Me Tomorrow”/“Boys” (Scepter 1211)

84. PERCY SLEDGE:  “When A Man Loves A Woman”/“Love Me Like You Mean It” (Atlantic 2326)

85. SOFT CELL:  “Tainted Love”/“Memorabilia” (Sire 49855)

86. SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY AND THE ASBURY JUKES:  “I Don't Want To Go Home”/“Snatchin' It Back” (Epic 50238)

87. RONNIE SPECTOR:  “Say Goodbye To Hollywood”/“Baby Please Don't Go” (Cleveland International 50374)

88. BENNY SPELLMAN:  “Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)”/“Fortune Teller” (Minit 644)

89. THE SPINNERS:  “I'll Be Around”/“How Could I Let You Get Away” (Atlantic 2904)

90. EDWIN STARR:  “Twenty-Five Miles”/“Love Is My Destination” (Gordy 7083)

91. DONNA SUMMER:  “I Feel Love”/“Can’t We Just Sit Down (And Talk It Over)” (Casablanca 884)

92. THE SWEET:  “Ballroom Blitz”/“Restless” (Capitol 4055)

93. THE TEMPTATIONS:  “My Girl”/“(Talking 'Bout) Nobody But My Baby” (Gordy 7038)

94. THE TRAAMPS:  “Disco Inferno”/“That’s Where The Happy People Go” (Atlantic 3389)

95. IKE AND TINA TURNER:  “I Can’t Believe What You Say (For Seeing What You Do)”/“My Baby Now” (Kent 402)

96. CONWAY TWITTY:  “It's Only Make-Believe”/“I'll Try” (MGM 12677)

97. RITCHIE VALENS:  “Donna”/“La Bamba” (Del-Fi 4110)

98. THE VOGUES:  “Five O'Clock World”/“Nothing To Offer You” (Co & Ce 232)

99. WAR:  “Low Rider”/“So” (United Artists 706)

100. WILMER AND THE DUKES:  “Give Me One More Chance”/“Get It” (Aphrodisiac 260)

            And, since Frank Sinatra's "One For My Baby" predates 45s, we've gotta presume that this joint has a tape of that track all set to play each night at closing time.  "One For My Baby" isn't a rock 'n' roll record, but it's the most appropriate thing to play as the definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox concludes its business day.  So let's have one for my baby...and one more for the road.   (Better make it a Dr. Pepper--I’m drivin’.)  

(NOTE:  these listings were compiled from various reference works, including Joel Whitburn’s Top Pop Singles book.  Corrections are welcomed.)