An infinite number of tracks can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns.
Our favorite records don't live in isolation. Each one has a story to tell.
Anyone who's endured any time at all on this blog is aware of my long-threatened book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). Yeah, I've been working on this thing for years. I finished a complete draft of the book in January, and I've shared it with a potential publisher for review. No promise of progress there, but it does remain a work in progress.
In 2018, when I began trying to turn my GREM! concept into a book, it was intended to be my first book. Yep, after decades of freelancing for magazines, writing notes, short stories, blog posts, and stuff for other writers' books, it was high time for a book I could call my own. GREM! can no longer be my first book, because I have a different book contracted and planned for a tentative 2022 publication. But still, I hope it will be a book.
The draft of GREM! that I shared with a publisher in early April followed my previously-posted blueprint, covering 175 songs and totaling a little under 144,000 words. Since then, I have also completed a slightly shorter alternate version, spotlighting 155 songs instead of 175, with a new word count just north of 131,000. At this moment, I prefer the shorter version.
Unless, y'know, the publisher loves the longer version. I'm flexible. (And I have three even shorter versions prepped in case I need them. Um...that's a secret. Shhhh. Don't tell anybody.)
For now, here's the proposed Table of Contents for that 155-song version. TA-DA! But before you dive in to experience its splendor, it's worth repeating this caveat from one of the book's introductory chapters:
"This specific disclaimer is worth highlighting in bold and all-caps: THIS IS NOT INTENDED AS AN EXHAUSTIVE LIST OF THE BEST RECORDS EVER MADE! Jesus, no! The chapters in this book cover a number of popular and personal favorites, but it's nowhere near comprehensive, and it's not meant to be. It's a discussion and a celebration of pop's infinite promise--nothing more, nothing less."
Ready? Let's GO!
FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)
A Fistful Of 45s
OVERTURE THE RAMONES: Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?
1. BADFINGER: Baby Blue
2. CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
3. DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
4. THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
5. ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
6. WILLIE MAE "BIG MAMA" THORNTON: Hound Dog
7. PATTI SMITH: Gloria
8. LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can't Help It
9. NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
10. CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'
11. WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
12. THE HOLLIES: I Can't Let Go
13. MELANIE WITH THE EDWIN HAWKINS SINGERS: Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)
14. SAM COOKE: Chain Gang
15. PETULA CLARK: Downtown
16. ARTHUR ALEXANDER: Soldier Of Love
17. TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I'm Not
18. LESLEY GORE: You Don't Own Me
19. THE SHANGRI-LAS: Leader Of The Pack
20. THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
21. THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
22. AMY RIGBY: Dancing With Joey Ramone
23. PINK FLOYD: Wish You Were Here
24. GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
25.THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
26. MERLE HAGGARD: Mama Tried
27. THE TEMPTATIONS: Papa Was A Rollin' Stone
28. BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
29. ROBERTA FLACK: Killing Me Softly With His Song
30. JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
31. ELTON JOHN: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
32. RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
33. SUZI QUATRO: I May Be Too Young
34. ALICE COOPER: School's Out
35. THE RARE BREED/THE OHIO EXPRESS: Beg, Borrow And Steal
36. OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
37. ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
INTERLUDE A Girl Known Somewhere: The Monkees Play Their Own Instruments
38. THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
39. PRINCE: When You Were Mine
40. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You're Gonna Miss Me
41. THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
42. PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
43. BOB DYLAN: Like A Rolling Stone
44. THE KINGSMEN: Louie, Louie
45. BARON DAEMON AND THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
46. THE MARVELETTES: I'll Keep Holding On
47. THE WHO: I Can't Explain
48. TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn't I Just Tell You
49. SHOES: Tomorrow Night
50. THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
51. TELEVISION: Elevation
52. DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
53. SMOKEY ROBINSON AND THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
54. THE DIXIE CUPS: Iko Iko
55. MILLIE SMALL: My Boy Lollipop
56. THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
57. IKE AND TINA TURNER: River Deep Mountain High
58. THE RONETTES: Be My Baby
59. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
60. KISS: Shout It Out Loud
61. THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
62. THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
63. THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
64. THE WONDERS: That Thing You Do!
INTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of...The Beatles?!
65. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
66. JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
67. GRAND FUNK: We're An American Band
68. THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
69. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
70. THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
71. THE PANDORAS: It's About Time
72. THE MUFFS: Saying Goodbye
73. BIG STAR: September Gurls
74. THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET: Take Five
75. THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS: All For Swinging You Around
ENTR'ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
76. YOKO ONO: Kiss Kiss Kiss
77. THE CHAMBERS BROTHERS: Time Has Come Today
78. MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
79. SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
80. PAUL COLLINS/THE BREAKAWAYS: Walking Out On Love
81. LINDA RONSTADT: You're No Good
82. P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
83. THE MYNAH BIRDS: I Got You (In My Soul)
INTERLUDE The Rick James Riff (It's Such A Freaky Scene)
84. BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY: Piece Of My Heart
85. THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
86. THE CARPENTERS: Only Yesterday
87. MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
88. THE 5TH DIMENSION: Medley: Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In (The Flesh Failures)
89. THE JACKSON FIVE: I'll Be There
90. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
91. THE BANGLES: Live
92. HEADGIRL/MÖTOR HEADGIRL SCHOOL: Please Don't Touch
93. THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
94. THE SPINNERS: I'll Be Around
95. TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
96. THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY: I Woke Up In Love This Morning
97. DAVID RUFFIN: I Want You Back
98. LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
99. FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
100. THE BANDWAGON: Breakin' Down The Walls Of Heartache
101. DON HENLEY: The Boys Of Summer
102. BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
103. GENE PITNEY: Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
104. THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
105. THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
106. HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don't Leave Me This Way
107. GRANDMASTER AND MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
108. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I'll Be Your Mirror
109. DEL SHANNON: Runaway
110. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
111. THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
112. SAM AND DAVE: Soul Man
113. T. REX: 20th Century Boy
114. HEART: Kick It Out
115. THE RUNAWAYS: Cherry Bomb
116. THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset
117. HOLLY GOLIGHTLY: Time Will Tell
118. THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
119. THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
120. ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ATTRACTIONS: (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
121. THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I'll Be There
INTERLUDE Old Time Rock 'n' Roll
122. THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
123. THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It?
124. LULU: To Sir, With Love [Museum Outings Montage]
125. FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
126. THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me
127. THE GO-GO'S: We Got The Beat
128. WHAM!: Freedom
129. THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On
130. THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
131. JOAN ARMATRADING: Me Myself I
132. THE SELECTER: On My Radio
133. TRACEY ULLMAN: They Don't Know
134. MANNIX: Highway Lines
135. THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
136. THE FIVE STAIRSTEPS: O-o-h Child
137. SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
138. THE COASTERS: Yakety Yak
139. CHEAP TRICK: Surrender
140. TEGAN AND SARA: Walking With A Ghost
141. DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
142. THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
143. THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John's Band
144. RITA MORENO, GEORGE CHAKIRIS, SHARKS & GIRLS: America
145. EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
146. JOAN JETT: Bad Reputation
147. STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
148. MARYKATE O'NEIL: I'm Ready For My Luck To Turn Around
149. EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year's Gonna Be Our Year
150. THE JAYHAWKS: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
INTERLUDE Underrating The Beatles
ENCORE! THE BEATLES: Rain
ENCORE!! THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)
Cruisin' Music
CODA THE RAMONES: Blitzkrieg Bop
AFTERWORD
Well, I like it! I hope someone else will like it, too. And the edit serves the bonus purpose of giving me a start on a hypothetical The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 2), while retaining the overall narrative of Volume 1.
Before I close here and get back to polishing this pipe dream, I want to repeat some basic supplemental material that's appeared here previously:
You can see links to each of my 34 GREM! video blogs here. You can read the book's foreword, introduction, and first few chapters here. (These are earlier drafts, so some changes have been implemented since these were posted. Still gives you the gist of what I'm doing.)
Here are a few other sample chapters (also in earlier drafts):
I believe very, very strongly in this book. I think a few of you just might dig it, too. The work continues. Into the infinite!
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This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl airs Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse at SPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM, and on the web at http://sparksyracuse.org/ You can read about our history here.
I'm on Twitter @CafarelliCarl
