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I'm the co-host of THIS IS ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO with Dana & Carl (Sunday nights, 9 to Midnight Eastern, www.westcottradio.org).  As a freelance writer, I contributed to Goldmine magazine from 1986-2006, wrote liner notes for Rhino Records' compilation CD Poptopia!  Power Pop Classics Of The '90s, and for releases by The Flashcubes, The Finkers, Screen Test, 1.4.5., and Jack "Penetrator" Lipton.  I contributed to the books Bubblegum Music Is The Naked Truth, Shake Some Action, Lost In The Grooves, and MusicHound Rock, and to DISCoveries, Amazing Heroes, The Comics Buyer's Guide, Yeah Yeah Yeah, Comics Collector, The Buffalo News, and The Syracuse New Times.  I also wrote the liner notes for the four THIS IS ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO compilation CDs, because, well, who could stop me?  My standing offer to write liner notes for a Bay City Rollers compilation has remained criminally ignored.  Still intend to write and sell a Batman story someday.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

SONGWRITING 000: My Kneecap Loves Your Kneecap (I Sing The Body Eclectic)

Songwriting 000 collects some of my sporadic attempts to write pop song lyrics. This ain't an easy task when you have less musical acumen than, say, Spiro Agnew, but we do what we can. I figure I need to get good (or at least passable) at this someday, if only so I can use the name Carlgems Records as my publishing company. (Why Songwriting 000? Let's face it: these don't rise to the level of Songwriting 101....)



This silly song title popped into my head decades ago. I think it stemmed from my cousin Mark, who wanted to start a heavy rock band called Subterranean Thunder, and he thought of writing a song called "Electronically Embossed Flowerpaste." See, that's a great song title. This was the best I could come up with. The title (except for the new parenthetical addition) is from the 20th century, but the lyrics are recent. Not fresh, perhaps, but recent.

MY KNEECAP LOVES YOUR KNEECAP (I SING THE BODY ECLECTIC)
Lyrics by Carl Cafarelli

My kneecap loves your kneecap
It's crazy but it's true
And I've got a funny feeling
That your kneecap likes mine, too

The head gives direction
The feet seek affection
And desire meets somewhere in the middle
The eyes start blinking
The mouth starts drinking
And the heart's just a clueless little riddle

If our brains were in charge
We'd be living so large
And know when a path meets a dead end
But we never listen
Common sense goes missin'
We try to stay straight but head 'round the bend

My kneecap loves your kneecap
But what does it know?
If I listen to my kneecap
I'll love you from head to toe

I sing the body eclectic
It knows me better than I do
And now the feeling is electric
These parts of me lead directly to you

Now I'm just guessin'
We won't learn our lesson
If we don't open up to what we really need
A kneecap's not smart
But maybe it has a heart
And we should follow wherever a heart may lead

My kneecap loves your kneecap
I don't think I can explain
I hope the rest of us is willing
To declare we feel the same

My kneecap loves your kneecap
Your kneecap loves my kneecap
Heavens above!
Kneecaps in love!

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Past selections in Songwriting 000:

A love song, Easy To Say

A Ramones song, Rocket To Russia

Collect 'em all!