A Book Called THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (VOLUME 1): inconsequential update, newest temporary Table of Contents

An infinite number of records can each be THE Greatest Record Ever Made, as long as they take turns.

My proposed book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) was still in an early stage of its development when the COVID-19 pandemic caused the world to shut down. It's possible the book wouldn't have advanced all that far yet even without all these drastic circumstances, but the quarantine scene hasn't exactly helped. Nonetheless, it's still a project, and I still hope it will become a book eventually.



This seems like as good a time as any to re-visit the concept and its goals. Recently, when I shared the book's chapter about "I Only Want To Be With You" by Dusty Springfield, some folks commented to the effect that I shouldn't call a song--any song--"the greatest," because there is no greatest; it's subjective, and "favorite" would really be a more appropriate and accurate description.

That's true...but it's not what I'm pursuing. I'm after the buzz of enthusiasm when we as music fans hear a great song, and then immediately want to hear that great song again. And maybe again after that. A favorite? Sure. The greatest ever? In that transient, magic, infinite moment...yeah. Yeah, calling a song the greatest sounds about right.

The Greatest Record Ever Made! The phrase is chosen deliberately, to proclaim giddiness, the in-the-split-second rapture of a song that annexes your consciousness with absolute authority. Another great song could take its place in the blink of an eye, but right now--right now!--it's the best thing ever, and it is the only song that matters, the only song that has ever mattered. An infinite number, as long as they take turns. And they've gotta take turns. They're records! That's what records do! Turn it up. It's okay to let yourself get lost in the fleeting sensation of right now.

Favorite. Greatest. Of course it's all opinion. We hope it's an informed opinion, expressed in a manner that's sufficiently engaging to make you want to buy a book and read all about it. It makes no pretense of objectivity, because frankly, objectivity is no damned fun in this kind of discussion. It's pop music. Why in the world would anyone ever want to be objective about pop music?



As currently planned, The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) will celebrate the individual turns of 150 songs (counting Buddy Holly's "Peggy Sue"/"Everyday" as one entry), supplemented by an Overture, an Entr'acte, two Encores, and a Coda to bring the total to 155. The selected songs are emphatically not supposed to represent a list of my 155 favorite records, nor a manifesto of the 155 best songs ever made. To folks who love pop music as much as I love pop music, there are a lot more than a mere 155 best songs ever made. I purposely left out a few of my near-the-pinnacle Fave Raves--"It's My Life" by The Animals, "Heart Full Of Soul" by The Yardbirds, "A Million Miles Away" by The Plimsouls, "Starry Eyes" by The Records, "Five O'Clock World" by The Vogues, to name five--to emphasize the intent to embrace a wider scope. The individual songs are presumed to be on equal plateaus. If it were 200 songs, or 500 songs, or more, that presumption would remain in place. An infinite number. This proposed Table of Contents shows the songs penciled in for their turns in Volume 1:




FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)
A Fistful Of 45s
OVERTURE THE RAMONES: Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?

BADFINGER: Baby Blue

CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
WILLIE MAE "BIG MAMA" THORNTON: Hound Dog
PATTI SMITH: Gloria
LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can't Help It
*NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin' 
WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
THE HOLLIES: I Can't Let Go
*LOVE: 7 And 7 Is
TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I'm Not
LESLEY GORE: You Don't Own Me
THE SHANGRI-LAS: Leader Of The Pack
THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
*AMY RIGBY: Dancing With Joey Ramone
*PINK FLOYD: Wish You Were Here
GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
*MERLE HAGGARD: Mama Tried
THE TEMPTATIONS: Papa Was A Rollin' Stone
*ELTON JOHN: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
SUZI QUATRO: I May Be Too Young
ALICE COOPER: School's Out
THE RARE BREED/THE OHIO EXPRESS: Beg, Borrow And Steal
*OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
PRINCE: When You Were Mine
THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You're Gonna Miss Me
THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
*BOB DYLAN: Like A Rolling Stone
*THE KINGSMEN: Louie, Louie
BARON DAEMON AND THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
NELSON RIDDLE: The Batman Theme
*THE CREATION: Making Time
THE WHO: I Can't Explain
TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn't I Just Tell You
SHOES: Tomorrow Night
THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
SMOKEY ROBINSON AND THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
*MARY-CHAPIN CARPENTER: Never Had It So Good
*JUDAS PRIEST: Heading Out To The Highway
THE NEW YORK DOLLS: Personality Crisis
THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It
THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
*THE RONETTES: Be My Baby
KISS: Shout It Out Loud
THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
THE WONDERS: That Thing You Do!
THE GO-GO'S: We Got The Beat
THE LOVIN' SPOONFUL: Summer In The City
INTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of...The Beatles?!
THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
*THE MARVELETTES: I'll Keep Holding On
GRAND FUNK: We're An American Band
*THE FIVE STAIRSTEPS: O-o-h Child
THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
*THE PANDORAS: It's About Time
*P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
BIG STAR: September Gurls
SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
PAUL COLLINS: Walking Out On Love
*LINDA RONSTADT: You're No Good
ENTR'ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET: Take Five
*RAY CHARLES: Hit The Road Jack
*THE MUFFS: Saying Goodbye
MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
THE JACKSON FIVE: I'll Be There
SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
*THE DANDY WARHOLS: We Used To Be Friends
*THE BANGLES: Going Down To Liverpool
THE SEARCHERS: Hearts In Her Eyes
RICK JAMES: Super Freak (Part 1)
THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
THE SPINNERS: I'll Be Around
TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
THE BANDWAGON: Breakin' Down The Walls Of Heartache
*DON HENLEY: The Boys Of Summer
BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
GENE PITNEY: Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don't Leave Me This Way
GRANDMASTER AND MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
*JEFFERSON AIRPLANE: White Rabbit
THE BYRDS: I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better
THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I'll Be Your Mirror
DEL SHANNON: Runaway
THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
SAM & DAVE: Soul Man
*BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY: Piece Of My Heart
*ARTHUR CONLEY: Sweet Soul Music
*DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
T. REX: 20th Century Boy
THE RUNAWAYS: Cherry Bomb
AMERICA: Sister Golden Hair
THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset 
THE KINKS: You Really Got Me
*HOLLY GOLIGHTLY: Time Will Tell
THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
*THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ATTRACTIONS: (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I'll Be There
INTERLUDE Old Time Rock 'n' Roll
THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
LULU: To Sir, With Love [Museum Outings Montage]
*ABBA: Dancing Queen
*EARTH, WIND & FIRE: Boogie Wonderland
*THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me
*SWEET: Ballroom Blitz
*BLONDIE: (I'm Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear
WHAM!: Freedom
*THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On 

THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
*JOAN ARMATRADING: Me Myself I
THE SELECTER: On My Radio
*MANNIX: Highway Lines
THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
FIRST AID KIT: America
*THE MC5: Kick Out The Jams
SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
*CHEAP TRICK Surrender
*THE STANDELLS: Sometimes Good Guys Don't Wear White
DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
*THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John's Band
*THE PRETENDERS: Back On The Chain Gang
*EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
*MARYKATE O'NEIL: I'm Ready For My Luck To Turn Around
EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year's Gonna Be Our Year
THE JAYHAWKS: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
INTERLUDE Underrating The Beatles
ENCORE! THE BEATLES: Rain
ENCORE!! THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)
Cruisin' Music
CODA THE RAMONES: Blitzkrieg Bop
AFTERWORD 



The asterisks indicate chapters that haven't yet reached a completed draft. This is a work in progress, and the Table of Contents will change. I'll stop tweaking it when I'm satisfied that it's done. The selections are arranged without regard for chronology or genre, a sequence constructed to flow like an irresistible mixtape. The flow already works fine as a playlist--my iPod says so, and I've logged a number of commuting miles testing that out--and the narrative flow will click into place as well.

The book's goal is to express the feeling that our pop songs inspire within us. Within me, anyway. One of the tag lines is "Our favorite records don't live in isolation; each one has a story." Some of those stories are history lessons, some are personal memoirs, some have threads that connect them to larger events. Some are about songs on the radio. Some are not. Love, betrayal, depression, faith, courage, determination, life, death, maturity, responsibility, inspiration, disillusionment, a local TV vampire, Alka Seltzer, and dancing The Freddie. A song can be about whatever it needs to be about, even if it needs to be about nothing at all. We know the greatest when we hear it.

I can't wait to tell you all about it.





ABOUT THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (VOLUME 1):

I’m pleased to send you the proposal for The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1), a collection of personal essays by writer and radio host Carl Cafarelli.

Our favorite records don’t live in isolation. Each one has a story. Insisting that an infinite number of songs can each be THE greatest record ever made (as long as they take turns), Cafarelli ties together threads connecting classic rock, soul, pop, punk, and bubblegum across decades of hits, misses, critics’ darlings, one-hit wonders, Rock and Roll Hall of Famers, and complete unknowns. The result reads like an irresistible mix tape in book form, compelling the reader to follow its flow from song to song and chapter to chapter as if it were a novel.

As an experienced pop historian and journalist, Cafarelli knows the importance of recording facts and figures accurately. But passion is of equal importance. We don’t crank the volume for fave rave sounds as academics; we listen as fans, as people living our complicated lives with music as not merely its soundtrack, but as its heartbeat. Records reflect our hopes, our disappointments, our successes, our mourning, our love, our bitterness, our fear, and our will to dance in spite of it all.

Why did The Monkees go from the top of the pops in 1967 to seeming has-been status in 1968? How did James Brown respond to the British Invasion? What minefields of racism, sexism, homophobia, ambition, frustration, depression, or loss were navigated by Little Richard, Dusty Springfield, The Go-Go's, Elvis, Sly and the Family Stone, The Kinks, The Beach Boys, The Supremes, and Material Issue's Jim Ellison? Were The Ramones as much a bubblegum band as they were a punk band? When does a group succeed or fail in its quixotic quest to be the next Beatles? 

And why does listening to pop music sometimes make us want to cry?

Carl Cafarelli has written for Goldmine, DISCoveries, The Syracuse New Times, Feral House, Routledge, Visible Ink Press, AHOY Comics, and Rhino Records. Since 1998, he has been the co-host (with Dana Bonn) of the internationally-renowned weekly broadcast and internet radio show This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl, and he is the author of the daily blog Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do). The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) mixes history lessons, artist appreciation, and the ways in which the records we love can deeply affect our personal lives.

The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) is unlike any other rock or pop book you’ve ever seen. I look forward to discussing it with you.