Conversation Stoppers

Recently, Steve Stoeckel posted this challenge on Facebook:

Conversation stoppers.

At a party, try a few well-chosen phrases--said to no one in particular--that are guaranteed to make you the center of attention for a few seconds.

eg:

"They found Babylonian Tupperware."

"To me, he was always Chuck Manson."

etc

Then go get refreshments.

Wiseass that I am, I had several ideas to contribute. And here they are.

1. "Good news! Kenny G's here!"

2. [whispered in ear] "I know who you really are."

3. "This place looked fancier in my past lives."

4. "No, it really DOES taste like chicken!"

5. "Have you heard The Good Word about The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame?"

6. "Damn. My imaginary friend always arrives before I do!"

7. "Your friend is typing a comment." [Yeah, that one's just for Facebook users.]

8. "You're not allergic to lice, are you?"

9. "The oozing is normal, right?"

10. "Hey, look at that! My liver spots move!"

11. "Smells like death. And I should know!"

And now a few more after the fact:

12. "I wish folks would quit picking on those poor, defenseless Nazis."

13. "You have good taste. Could still use a little mustard, though."

14. "Flatulence is its own reward."

15. "You snore in your sleep. I have the tapes to prove it."

16. "No, that was my OTHER self."

17. "It's too bad The Beatles were such lousy dancers."

18. "Bathroom. Living Room. Kitchen. If you really gotta go, what's the difference?"

19. "Oh, this room will look SO pretty when it burns!"

And finally:

20. "Don't blame me. I didn't vote."

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