“The explanations a writer gives himself for having written any particular book are often not the real reasons why that book has been written. Honesty is not the issue. Understanding is. A man does not write one novel at a time or one play at a time or even one quatrain at a time. He is engaged in the long process of putting his whole life on paper. He is on a journey, and he is reporting in: ‘This is where I think I am and this is what this place looks like today.’”
This is where I think I am and this is what this place looks like today.
The quote comes from writer Irwin Shaw, though I first saw it in the '70s, cited by my writing idol Harlan Ellison; the section cut-n-pasted above is from R. K. Troughton's 2014 interview with Ellison (as seen here). Whether the words came from Shaw or Ellison, they reached me in my 1970s teen doldrums, and showed me a light as bright as a burning bush. It was the writer's commandment: to document where I think I am and what this place looks like today. A simple assignment.
Start writing.
I was a teenage misfit, a square peg who wanted to reinvent himself. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted that even more than I wanted to be popular, or rich, or famous, or able to sing or play guitar. Though I'm sure I also thought that becoming a writer would help me to become popular, rich, and famous. Also, maybe it would make me attractive to girls. The guitar thing was a lost cause. I couldn't play, my rhythm was suspect, my voice unappealing. But I could write. I knew I could write.
I had a little bit of small-scale, very modest success. I sold some nonfiction, freelanced from 1984 to 2006. I abruptly withdrew from freelancing when I realized it was no longer enough fun to make up for the lack of money, and it didn't pay well enough to compensate for the lack of fun. I never stopped writing...but I kinda did stop writing. A writer writes. You're not a writer if you don't write.
I started this daily blog Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do) in 2016, when the death of David Bowie shocked me into action. I needed to be a writer again, and I needed to be a writer like I was when I was a teenager. It was imperative that I get back to writing, not occasionally, but every damned day. No excuses. Where I think I am? Write it down. What this place looks like today? Post it. A daily blog means a daily blog, you middle-aged poseur. Keep writing. Keep. Writing.
The commitment forced me to produce, and it forced me to improve. I started trying to write fiction again. Mirabile dictu, I sold five short stories, my first-ever fiction sales. I started working on a book of personal pop music essays, The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). I secured services of a literary agent to try to sell that book to a deep-pocketed publisher. Where I think I am. Looks good...!
And then...well, 2020. We've all seen where we think we are, so I don't need to tell you what the place looks like. In that dismal milieu, the book project isn't quite dead, but it is on life support, and barely that. Another book project that I wanted to be a part of is moving ahead without me, and I was crushed that I wasn't invited to participate. Furthermore, I haven't completed any new short stories in over a year. What does this place look like? I haven't summoned the will to see any of my cluttered ideas through. It's been a hard, hard year. That's where I think I am.
For all that, the blog continues. Every day. Death, taxes, road construction, and Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do). You can count on us, man. And the act of writing feeds more writing. As the immediate prospects for The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) seem less promising, I've initiated direct contact with a publisher regarding a different book. Maybe nothing will come of that either, or maybe both books will find a path to print. Gotta keep writing. A blog post each day commits me to writing at least that much. Where I think I am, what I think I see. One piece leads to another.
I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm discouraged. But god damn it, I'm still here. I'm still writing. A writer writes. I'm a writer. It is the only talent I have ever had, the only thing I've ever been able to do well. I will show you where I think I am. I will make you see what this place looks like today.
Today? This place looks like my 2000th blog post. There are many more to come, each and every day of the year. And there are still books to write, stories to tell, worlds to imagine or identify, fiction or nonfiction. Locations to determine, with surroundings to describe. Where I think I am, what this place looks like today. I hear you, Harlan. I believe you, Mr. Shaw. No fame, no fortune, but the assignment remains:
Write.
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This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl airs Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse at SPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM, and on the web at http://sparksyracuse.org/ You can read about our history here.
The many fine This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio compilation albums are still available, each full of that rockin' pop sound you crave. A portion of all sales benefit our perpetually cash-strapped community radio project:
Volume 1: download
Volume 2: CD or download
Volume 3: download
Volume 4: CD or download
Waterloo Sunset--Benefit For This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio: CD or download
Carl's writin' a book! The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1)will contain 165 essays about 165 tracks, each one of 'em THE greatest record ever made. An infinite number of records can each be the greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Updated initial information can be seen here: THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1). My weekly Greatest Record Ever Made! video rants can be seen in my GREM! YouTube playlist. And I'm on Twitter @CafarelliCarl
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