Wednesday, June 7, 2023

THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

This was adapted from a couple of previous pieces as a potential chapter in my long-threatened book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). It is currently penciled in for the even-more-theoretical Volume 2.

An infinite number of tracks can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Today, this is THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE!


THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
Written by J. W. Gangwer and T. V. Dunbar
Produced by Matthew King Kaufman
Single, Beserkley Records, 1978

Think back to high school.

Charles Dickens might have described it as the best of times and the worst of times, if he had been an American teenager instead of being, y'know...Dickens. It's a time of crushes, lust, bravado, insecurity, promise, doubt, achievement, failure, secrets, lies, hope, futility, stolen kisses, broken hearts, acceptance, rejection, and exams filled in with a # 2 pencil. It is life in microcosm, all its inherent drama heightened by the fact that you're 17. You're a big man on campus. You're a square peg that fits in precisely nowhere. In with the in crowd, out with the outsiders--either way, this is your life. The best of times. The worst of times.

Radio can be a lifeline for the lovelorn:  perfect pop songs, providing context and commentary for the heart's giddy highs and aching lows.  The music we listen to as teens can resonate throughout our lives, etched in memory alongside every eternal snub and accolade. In 1977, I was a seventeen-year-old high school senior. I liked oldies better than most then-current music--the Beatles, the Monkees, the Dave Clark Five, the Animals, and my recent discovery, the Kinks--but I was also looking for new. I liked KISS. I liked "Cherry Baby" by Starz, and "Isn't It Time" by the Babys, "Carry On Wayward Son" by KansasBoston's debut LP, Sweet's Desolation Boulevard, and Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. Punk was waiting for me, just around the corner. But before the Ramones, or the Sex Pistols, or my nascent hormonal devotion to Blondie's Debbie Harry, one group stood as the great teen hope. That group was the Rubinoos.


The Rubinoos were young, not much older than I was. They were on the radio, with a hit cover of Tommy James and the Shondells' "I Think We're Alone Now," and (on freer-form FM radio) with a delectable album track called "Wouldn't It Be Nice." They were on TV, lip-syncing "I Think We're Alone Now" and "Rock And Roll Is Dead" on American Bandstand. Their eponymous debut album was an absolutely essential purchase for me, as was its follow-up, Back To The Drawing Board. God, I loved this band. That has never changed over the ensuing crashing and passing of more than four freakin' decades. I love the Rubinoos. I will always love the Rubinoos.

"I Think We're Alone Now" would somehow turn out to be the Rubinoos' only hit single, a fact which makes no sense whatsoever, but that rant is likely best left for another time.  For now, suffice it to say that the Rubinoos have spent the last four decades building an irresistible body of work, simply loaded with nonpareil pop tunes that should be playing on radios around the world every minute of every day.


Along the way, the Rubinoos' music matured, but the Rubinoos resisted any silly notion to grow up.  They no longer sing as teenagers, but they do sing to the teen within us all, to the romantic who wants to fall in love, to the dreamer that wants love to last forever, and to the veteran lover who knows that love can be fleeting, even traumatic, but who still realizes that love's reward is worth its risk.  From the Rubinoos' first single ("Gorilla") in 1975 through this new miracle World of Tomorrow in the 21st century, this group has consistently delivered on its promise of perfect pop for lovers of all ages. Wouldn't It Be Nice. 1, 2, 3 Forever. Must Be A Word. Amnesia. And, especially, the specific promise of "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend," a single off Back To The Drawing Board, a Big # 1 Hit that never actually charted:  Gonna make you love me 'fore I'm done.


"I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" cops its chanted HEY HEY YOU YOU! hook from "Get Off Of My Cloud" by the Rolling Stones, but reshapes it into something newer and more fully pop (as opposed to "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne, which didn't reshape "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" enough to keep the lawyers at bay). Its guitars chime and its acolytes swoon, as if David Cassidy joined the Raspberries, or Dee Dee Ramone joined the Bay City Rollers. Gonna make you love me, yeah/I'm gonna make you love me, yeah/I'm gonna make you love me 'fore I'm done


This is desire rendered as pristine, as likely to be content holding hands and staring at the stars as it is eager to move to the back seat. It is lust and naiveté, passion that could be reckless or prudent, hormonal or mannered, one night right now, all nights and days forevermore. It is caution discarded, inner voice heeded, more marks scratched in the permanent record, in ink or that damned # 2 pencil. It is the teen years at 45 revelations per minute. Its swoon is everlasting, like the love that pop songs promised us.

The Rubinoos originally only lasted long enough to release two full-length albums in the '70s. But when they returned in later years, they remained as strong as ever, the spark of youth undimmed by time, fortified by the certainty of experience, yet still connected to an exuberance that can surely mature, but need never age. They are still boys who fall in love with girls. Girls still break their hearts. The boys still fall in love again. Hey hey you you. The best of times, the worst of times. This lifeline for the lovelorn is perfect still.

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Carl's new book Gabba Gabba Hey! A Conversation With The Ramones is now available, courtesy of the good folks at Rare Bird Books. Gabba Gabba YAY!! https://rarebirdlit.com/gabba-gabba-hey-a-conversation-with-the-ramones-by-carl-cafarelli/

This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl airs Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse at SPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM, and on the web at http://sparksyracuse.org/ You can read about our history here.

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1 comment:

  1. Michael McCartneyJune 7, 2023 at 9:52 PM

    I love this write-up. Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete