Friday, May 17, 2019

THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE: Disclaimers Updated


As I continue the work of turning the ideas for my proposed book The Greatest Record Ever Made into a finished manuscript, it's time for an updated look at the book's Disclaimers section. I shared an earlier version about a month ago, but it's way spiffier now:

DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made)

WARNING: As you read through the following pages, I can guarantee that you will disagree with something that you see. Yeah, I think I can guarantee that.

However, let me assure you that you will not see anything here that was intended as deliberately provocative. Man, I hate the very idea of writing something just to seem edgy or rabble-rousing. That ain't me. These are all opinions, but I mean everything I say, even when I'm waxing rhapsodic over some regularly-reviled act like KISS. The whole book is designed as my side of the friendly arguments we might have over a few beers, coffees, and/or Coca-Colas, each of us proclaiming a steadfast faith that this record--this record!--is The Greatest Record Ever Made. You may counter with something I don't like, something by The Eagles or Van Halen, and I'll fix you in my coldest, most withering glance; you'll shrug that off, just like I ignore your misguided belief that I can't possibly be serious when I say I love The Bay City Rollers. We'll bicker, we'll laugh, we'll toast, and we'll play the music we love. That's how it oughtta be. 

For context, especially considering the fact that many of these entries will relate specifically to my life and my experiences, I'll give you a thumbnail description of who you're dealing with here. I was born in 1960, and I grew up in the suburbs of Syracuse during the heyday of Beatlemania. I had older siblings, so I was exposed from an early age to every great song an AM radio or a jukebox or a box of 45s had to offer. As a teenager in the '70s, I determined that I wanted to know more about the music I loved, going back to the '50s and '60s, moving forward into '70s punk and beyond. I eventually started freelancing for a great music publication called Goldmine from 1986 to 2006, and since the end of 1998 I've been co-hosting This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl. In 2016, I started a daily blog called Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do), a mostly music- and comics-related outlet where many of these GREM pieces first saw the light of day. I've got the music in me. I can neither sing nor play, but I have enthusiasm, and both the will and the ability to tell you about the music I love.

This specific disclaimer is worth highlighting in bold and all-caps: THIS IS NOT INTENDED AS A LIST OF THE 100 BEST RECORDS EVER MADE! The chapters in this book cover a number of popular and personal favorites, but it's nowhere near comprehensive, and it's not meant to be. It's not even a list of my all-time Hot 100. I mean, not even close. There's no study here of, say, "It's My Life" by The Animals, "A Million Miles Away" by The Plimsouls, or "Five O'Clock World" by The Vogues, three of my perennial Fave Raves. There's no Edwin Starr, no English Beat, no Ronettes (nor any Phil Spector production, nor Ronnie Spector & the E Street Band), and only a passing reference to "May My Heart Be Cast Into Stone" by The Toys. I didn't get to The Jam, The Velvelettes, The Bobby Fuller Four, The Hoodoo Gurus, Stevie Wonder, Television, The Creation, Tavares, Del Shannon, The Stems, Anny Celsi, Amy Rigby, Josie & the Pussycats, The Temptations, The Lollipop Shoppe, Toots & the Maytals, and...well, it's a long and worthy list. But I did write about 100 fantastic tracks, and then some. These are the 100+ great records I was moved to put under the GREM spotlight for essay and exultation this time around. Always remember the mantra: an infinite number, as long as they take turns.

It is also worth noting that sometimes an individual chapter will contradict other individual chapters. The Greatest Record Ever Made is large, it contains multitudes.

Most who read this book will encounter some unfamiliar songs alongside your Led Zeppelin and Wilson Pickett. Nothing was chosen for deliberate obscurity, or in some misguided effort to maintain my hipster cred. Trust me: I ain't got no hipster cred. But being a happy pop fan is a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the Rickenbacker way. There will always be more songs to discover, old and new. If you're intrigued by something described in The Greatest Record Ever Made, I encourage you to hunt down more of its story. The information's out there, the song itself is out there. Find it. Listen to it. Cherish it. And finally, BUY IT! Streaming it doesn't count. Music is your best entertainment value. Open up the ol' wallet. It's worth it.

The chapters are sequenced without regard for chronology, and with little regard for genre. Great records don't care what year it is, and Top 40 radio taught me that different styles of pop music sound better mixed together. I wish more current radio formats understood that.

When I was writing for Goldmine, editor Jeff Tamarkin told his freelancers that anyone with half a brain understands this is all opinion anyway; just make sure you can back it up, and make sure you can tell the story in an interesting manner. That's always been my goal, even as my writing style has evolved into something more personal. I hope Jeff would approve, and I hope you dig much of what you're about to read. Yes, even though you'll disagree with at least some of it.

So set up a round, and turn up the sound. A few of those infinite turns are at hand right now.



Image courtesy of Rich Firestone
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Our new compilation CD This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio, Volume 4 is now available from Kool Kat Musik! 29 tracks of irresistible rockin' pop, starring Pop Co-OpRay PaulCirce Link & Christian NesmithVegas With Randolph Featuring Lannie FlowersThe SlapbacksP. HuxIrene PeñaMichael Oliver & the Sacred Band Featuring Dave MerrittThe RubinoosStepford KnivesThe Grip WeedsPopdudesRonnie DarkThe FlashcubesChris von SneidernThe Bottle Kids1.4.5.The SmithereensPaul Collins' BeatThe Hit SquadThe RulersThe Legal MattersMaura & the Bright LightsLisa Mychols, and Mr. Encrypto & the Cyphers. You gotta have it, so order it here. A digital download version (minus The Smithereens' track) is also available from Futureman Records.

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