A
jukebox is only as good as the records it plays. Oh, you can argue about the kitsch-nostalgia aesthetics of
your classic jukebox, but it still comes down to the tunes. Whether the juke fodder of your choice
involves George Jones declaring that the race is on, or LL Cool J warning you
not to call it a comeback, a great jukebox is defined by its selection of great
records.
Our
task today is to stock the definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox. The jukebox we’ve chosen (from a
perusal of the Jukebox Museum at www.wurlitzer-jukebox.com) is a Wurlitzer
Model 2300 from 1959, a beautiful record machine that offers 200 selections; to
stock it, we need to compile the 100 45s that, taken as a whole, offer the best
time capsule of the jukebox experience.
Such a jukebox would rely heavily on records that stand up to endless
replay in a mythic roadhouse on a weekend night, blastin’ out a soundtrack for
an inebriated mob pissing away its hard-earned paychecks in pursuit of a good
ol’ time. This is not a Pet Sounds
crowd.
The
singles are listed alphabetically by artist (with one exception; see below). Each entry was released as a 7” 45 rpm single in the U.S., and no
Oldies 45 reissues are allowed. On
the other hand, this is one of the few times that vinyl junkies needn’t
be concerned with collectibles; we don’t need the rare original version of
“96 Tears” by ? and the Mysterians (Pa-Go-Go 102) when the # 1 hit single
re-release (Cameo 428) suits our purposes just fine.
The
list tries to strike some sort of uneasy balance between obvious jukebox
crowd-pleasers and a few idiosyncratic, outta-left-field choices, just to give
our jukebox some personality.
B-sides are certainly a factor; for example, Benny Spellman’s “Lipstick
Traces (On A Cigarette)” is specifically included for its B-side, the oft-covered
“Fortune Teller.” Many of our
other selections are likewise enhanced by cool B-sides, from Johnny Cash (whose
“Get Rhythm” is juke-worthy in its own right) to Prince (whose “Erotic City”
might get you slapped, or it might get you...well, who knows?)
The
first single listed on our jukebox is “Louie Louie” by The Kingsmen. Simply put, “Louie Louie” is the sine
qua non of jukedom: the top, the
Coliseum, the Louvre Museum, etc.
White Castle, even. This
warhorse was first written and recorded by Richard Berry in 1956, and has
subsequently been covered by everybody, but not one other version has ever
equaled the cathartic rush of The Kingsmen's triumphantly inept hit reading. A sonic mess, badly recorded and marginally
played, it is nonetheless a strong candidate for the title of Greatest Record
Of All Time. And it appears before
the start of our otherwise-alphabetical listing simply to re-state its
preeminence in rock 'n' roll: a
jukebox that doesn't include "Louie Louie" forfeits any claim to
being a rock 'n' roll jukebox.
(One
could make a compelling case that “Rock Around The Clock” by Bill Haley And His
Comets should occupy this position, since it’s [perhaps arguably] considered
the record that officially began the rock ‘n’ roll era. Consider this a judgment call, just one
of several such judgment calls you’ll encounter along the way.)
We’re
using a pretty broad definition of rock ‘n’ roll, encompassing pure rock ‘n’
roll (from Chuck Berry to The Beatles and so on), and also including
rockabilly, soul, R & B, punk, funk, garage, psychedelia, doo-wop, hard
rock, new wave, power pop, even a little country and disco. Singles that seem evocative of an
imaginary Jukebox Aesthetic are natural choices. These include singles which deal specifically with jukebox
themes: “You’re Still On My Mind”
by George Jones opens with George moaning that, “The jukebox is playin’ a honky
tonk song;” in “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll,” a prospective lover urges Joan Jett to
put another dime in the jukebox.
And “The Breakup Song (They Don’t Write ‘Em)” by The Greg Kihn Band is
an irresistible choice for its tale of listening to the jukebox as what used to
be Your Special Song plays a mere hour after you and Your Special Someone have
finally, irrevocably said sayonara.
They don’t write ‘em like that anymore.
Working
class anthems also make good jukebox fare. Fats Domino's “Blue Monday,” The Easybeats’ “Friday On My
Mind,” Little Richard’s “Rip It Up” and The Vogues’ “Five O’Clock World” are
exactly the sort of last-call to arms for which a wage slave AWOL on a Friday night
wants to surrender his or her quarters.
The same goes for singles that celebrate partying, call the crowd to
dance, or chronicle the many ups and downs of romance, from the mating rituals
of the horny American male described in The Coasters’ “Searchin’”/“Youngblood”
to the soulful sense of loss crying from the grooves in The Chi-Lites’ “Have
You Seen Her.”
Stocking
a definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox demands a historical perspective, which is
why most of the stuff here ranges from 30-60 years old. Nirvana’s 1991 grunge landmark “Smells
Like Teen Spirit” is a relative newbie at a mere 25 years of age. The only exception is “Making Teenage
Faces,” a 2002 single by The Exploding Hearts, a dynamic young group from
Portland, Oregon, whose career was tragically cut short by a fatal traffic
accident in 2003. “Making Teenage
Faces” is an exuberant throwback to late ‘70s UK pop-punk, a la The Undertones,
The Buzzcocks, The Boys and Generation X, and it needs to be here as a rockin’
memorial to these guys, and as a potent reminder that great rock ‘n’ roll is
still being made today.
The
Exploding Hearts record is one of those outta-left-field choices mentioned
above, the less-obvious (and occasionally obscure) records mixed in just to
shake it up, baby. Others include
Eddie and the Hot Rods’ liberating power pop manifesto “Do Anything You Wanna
Do,” Adam Faith’s beat raver “It’s Alright,” The Lyres’ Nuggets-inspired “Help
You Ann,” The Moving Sidewalks’ Texas garage gem “99th Floor” (featuring a
pre-ZZ Top Billy Gibbons), Billy Riley’s rockabilly touchstone “Red Hot,”
Ronnie Spector’s ace realization of Billy Joel’s Ronettes tribute “Say Goodbye
To Hollywood” and Wilmer and the Dukes’ forgotten soul classic “Give Me One
More Chance.” These are on our
definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox because, c’mon, we need something beyond just
the hits, the crowd-pleasers, the recognized classics.
Why
do we need more? Well, if you
chanced across a promising-looking jukebox in your travels, would you as a
record fan be more thrilled to see a bunch of great but predictable selections,
or would you instead be knocked out to discover something unexpected? Forget about your personal all-time Top
10 45s--wouldn’t you just love to find that obscure single you dug back in
junior high, sitting there on a jukebox, waiting for your pay to play? I love The Beatles more than any other
group, but if I found a jukebox with, say, “Good Grief Christina” by Chicory
Tip or “Mr. Monday” by The Original Caste, I’d forget all about the Fabs for a
few minutes.
Which
leads us to this point: before we
even start, we have to concede that this is a fool's errand. There's no such thing as a
"definitive" jukebox.
Hell, even the list you’re about to read changed about a zillion times
between conception and publication.
But no two people are ever gonna agree 100% on a list like this one, so
there’s lots of room for argument here.
But we can argue later--that's why the good Lord above invented the comments section to begin with. Meanwhile,
grab some quarters and grab your honey, as the definitive rock 'n' roll
jukebox cordially invites you to haul your ass to the dancefloor. Let's get this juke joint jumpin'!
(And a quick tip of the lid to
Dave Murray, Dana Bonn, John M. Borack, Randy Myers, Tim Neeley, and Ron Wray
for helping us stock this jukebox right.)
THE DEFINITIVE ROCK ‘N’
ROLL JUKEBOX:
1. THE KINGSMEN: “Louie Louie”/“Haunted Castle” (Wand
143)
2. THE 13th FLOOR
ELEVATORS: “You're Gonna Miss
Me”/“Tried To Hide” (International Artists 107)
3. AC/DC: “You Shook Me All Night Long”/“Have A
Drink On Me” (Atlantic 3761)
4. ARTHUR ALEXANDER: “You Better Move On”/ “A Shot Of Rhythm
And Blues” (Dot 16309)
5. THE ANGELS: “My Boyfriend's Back”/“(Love Me) Now”
(Smash 1834)
6. THE ANIMALS: “It's My Life”/“I'm Going To Change The
World” (MGM 13414)
7. BADFINGER: “Baby Blue”/ “Flying” (Apple 1844)
8. THE BEACH BOYS: “I Get Around”/“Don't Worry Baby”
(Capitol 5174)
9. THE BEATLES: “I Want To Hold Your Hand”/“I Saw Her
Standing There” (Capitol 5112)
10. CHUCK BERRY: “Johnny B. Goode”/“Around And Around”
(Chess 1691)
11. JAMES BROWN AND THE FAMOUS
FLAMES: “Please, Please,
Please”/“Why Do You Do Me” (Federal 12258)
12. SOLOMON BURKE: “Everybody Needs Somebody To
Love”/“"Looking For My Baby” (Atlantic 2241)
13. THE JOHNNY BURNETTE
TRIO: “The Train Kept
A-Rollin'”/“Honey Hush” (Coral 61719)
14. JOHNNY CASH: “I Walk The Line”/“Get Rhythm” (Sun
241)
15. THE CASTAWAYS: “Liar,
Liar”/“Sam” (Soma 1433)
16. RAY CHARLES: “(Night Time Is) The Right Time”/“Tell
All The World About You” (Atlantic 2010)
17. CHEAP TRICK: “Surrender”/“Auf Wiedersehen” (Epic
50570)
18. THE CHI-LITES: “Have You Seen Her”/“Yes I'm Ready (If
I Don't Get To Go)” (Brunswick 55462)
19. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: “Bits And Pieces”/“All Of The Time”
(Epic 9671)
20. THE COASTERS: “Searchin'”/“Young Blood” (Atco 6087)
21. EDDIE COCHRAN: “Somethin Else”/“Boll Weevil Song”
(Liberty 55203)
22. ARTHUR CONLEY: “Sweet Soul Music”/”Let’s Go Steady”
(Atco 6463)
23. THE CONTOURS: “Do You Love Me”/“Move, Mr. Man” (Gordy
7005)
24. SAM COOKE: “Bring It On Home To Me”/“Having A
Party” (RCA 8036)
25. DICK DALE AND THE
DEL-TONES: “Miserlou”/“Eight Till
Midnight” (Capitol 4939)
26. BO DIDDLEY: “You Can't Judge A Book By It’s
Cover”/“I Can Tell” (Checker 1019)
27. DION: “Ruby Baby”/“He'll Only Hurt You”
(Columbia 42662)
28. FATS DOMINO: “Blue Monday”/“What's The Reason I'm
Not Pleasing You” (Imperial 5417)
29. THE DRIFTERS: “On Broadway”/“Let The Music Play”
(Atlantic 2182)
30. THE EASYBEATS: “Friday On My Mind”/“Made My Bed”
(United Artists 50106)
31. EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS: “Do Anything You Wanna Do”/“Ignore Them
(Always Crashing In The Same Bar)” (Island 093)
32. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: “All I Have To Do Is Dream”/“Claudette”
(Cadence 1348)
33. THE EXPLODING HEARTS: “Making Teenage Faces”/“Your Shadow”
(Vinyl Warning 05)
34. ADAM FAITH WITH THE
ROULETTES: “It’s Alright”/“I Just
Don’t Know” (Amy 913)
35. THE FOUR TOPS: “Reach Out I'll Be There”/ “Until You
Love Someone” (Motown 1098)
36. ARETHA FRANKLIN: “Respect”/“Dr. Feelgood” (Atlantic
2403)
37. THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: “Let Her Dance”/“Another Sad And Lonely
Night” (Mustang 3006)
38. MARVIN GAYE: “Ain't That Peculiar”/“She's Got To Be
Real” (Tamla 54122)
39. THE GO-GO'S: “We Got The Beat”/“Can't Stop The
World” (IRS 9903)
40. BILL HALEY AND HIS
COMETS: “(We’re Gonna) Rock Around
The Clock”/“Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” (Decca 29124)
41. THE HOLLIES: “I Can’t Let Go”/“I’ve Got A Way Of My
Own” (Imperial 66158)
42. BUDDY HOLLY: “Peggy Sue”/“Everyday” (Coral 61885)
43. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: “Twist And Shout”/“Spanish Twist” (Wand
124)
44. WANDA JACKSON: “Let’s Have A Party”/“Cool Love”
(Capitol 4397)
45. RICK JAMES: "Bustin’ Out”/“Sexy Lady” (Gordy
7167)
46. TOMMY JAMES AND THE
SHONDELLS: "Mony
Mony"/"One Two Three And I Fell" (Roulette 7008)
47. JOAN JETT AND THE
BLACKHEARTS: “I Love Rock 'n'
Roll”/“You Don't Know
What You've Got” (Boardwalk 135)
48. THE JIVE FIVE: “What Time Is It?”/“Beggin’ You Please”
(Beltone 2024)
49. GEORGE JONES: “You’re Still On My Mind”/“Cold, Cold
Heart” (Mercury 72010)
50. THE GREG KIHN BAND: “The Breakup Song (They Don't Write
'Em)”/“When The Music Starts” (Beserkley 47149)
51. BEN E. KING: “Stand By Me”/“On The Horizon” (Atco
6194)
52. THE KINKS: “Till The End Of The Day”/“Where Have
All The Good Times Gone” (Reprise 0454)
53. KISS: “Shout It Out Loud”/“Sweet Pain”
(Casablanca 854)
54. GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE
PIPS: “Midnight Train To Georgia”/“Window
Raising Granny” (Buddah 383)
55. JERRY LEE LEWIS: “Great Balls Of Fire”/“You Win Again”
(Sun 281)
56. LITTLE RICHARD: “Rip It Up”/“Ready Teddy” (Specialty
579)
57. THE LYRES: “Help You Ann”/“I Really Want You Right
Now” (Ace Of Hearts 105)
58. MARTHA AND THE
VANDELLAS: “Nowhere To
Run”/“Motoring” (Gordy 7039)
59. THE MELLO-KINGS: “Tonite, Tonite”/“Do Baby Do” (Herald
502)
60. THE MIRACLES: “Going To A Go-Go”/“Choosey Beggar”
(Tamla 54127)
61. THE MOVING SIDEWALKS: “99th Floor”/“What Are You Going To Do”
(Wand 1156)
62. NIRVANA: “Smells Like Teen Spirit”/“Even In His
Youth” (DGC 19050)
63. ROY ORBISON: “Crying”/“Candy Man” (Monument 447)
64. CARL PERKINS: “Blue Suede Shoes”/“Honey, Don’t!” (Sun
234)
65. WILSON PICKETT: “In The Midnight Hour”/“I’m Not Tired”
(Atlantic 2289)
66. GENE PITNEY: “Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa”/ “Lonely
Night Dreams (Of Far Away Arms)” (Musicor 1034)
67. THE PLIMSOULS: “A Million Miles Away”/“Play The
Breaks” (Geffen 29600)
68. THE POLICE: “Roxanne”/“Dead End Job” (A&M 2096)
69. ELVIS PRESLEY: “Hound Dog”/“Don’t Be Cruel” (RCA
47-6604)
70. PRINCE: “Let’s Go Crazy”/“Erotic City” (Warner
Brothers 29216)
71. ? AND THE MYSTERIANS: “96 Tears”/“Midnight Hour” (Cameo 428)
72. THE RAMONES: “Do You Wanna Dance”/“Babysitter” (Sire
1017)
73. LOU RAWLS: “Love Is A Hurtin’ Thing”/“Memory Lane”
(Capitol 5709)
74. OTIS REDDING: “Try A Little Tenderness”/“I'm Sick
Y'All” (Volt 141)
75. PAUL REVERE AND THE
RAIDERS: “Just Like
Me”/“B.F.D.R.F. Blues” (Columbia 43461)
76. CHARLIE RICH: “Lonely Weekends”/“Everything I Do Is
Wrong” (Phillips 3552)
77. THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS: “Little Latin Lupe Lu”/“I'm So Lonely”
(Moonglow 215)
78. BILLY RILEY AND THE LITTLE
GREEN MEN: “Red Hot”/“Pearly Lee”
(Sun 277)
79. THE ROLLING STONES: “Honky Tonk Women”/“You Can’t Always
Get What You Want” (London 910)
80. THE ROMANTICS: “What I Like About You”/“First In Line”
(Nemperor 7527)
81. SAM AND DAVE: “Soul Man”/“May I Baby” (Stax 231)
82. DEL SHANNON: “Keep Searchin' (We'll Follow The
Sun)”/“Broken Promises” (Amy 915)
83. THE SHIRELLES: “Will You Love Me Tomorrow”/“Boys”
(Scepter 1211)
84. PERCY SLEDGE: “When A Man Loves A Woman”/“Love Me
Like You Mean It” (Atlantic 2326)
85. SOFT CELL: “Tainted Love”/“Memorabilia” (Sire 49855)
86. SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY AND THE
ASBURY JUKES: “I Don't Want To Go
Home”/“Snatchin' It Back” (Epic 50238)
87. RONNIE SPECTOR: “Say Goodbye To Hollywood”/“Baby Please
Don't Go” (Cleveland International 50374)
88. BENNY SPELLMAN: “Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)”/“Fortune
Teller” (Minit 644)
89. THE SPINNERS: “I'll Be Around”/“How Could I Let You
Get Away” (Atlantic 2904)
90. EDWIN STARR: “Twenty-Five Miles”/“Love Is My
Destination” (Gordy 7083)
91. DONNA SUMMER: “I Feel Love”/“Can’t We Just Sit Down
(And Talk It Over)” (Casablanca 884)
92. THE SWEET: “Ballroom Blitz”/“Restless” (Capitol
4055)
93. THE TEMPTATIONS: “My Girl”/“(Talking 'Bout) Nobody But
My Baby” (Gordy 7038)
94. THE TRAAMPS: “Disco Inferno”/“That’s Where The Happy
People Go” (Atlantic 3389)
95. IKE AND TINA TURNER: “I Can’t Believe What You Say (For
Seeing What You Do)”/“My Baby Now” (Kent 402)
96. CONWAY TWITTY: “It's Only Make-Believe”/“I'll Try”
(MGM 12677)
97. RITCHIE VALENS: “Donna”/“La Bamba” (Del-Fi 4110)
98. THE VOGUES: “Five O'Clock World”/“Nothing To Offer
You” (Co & Ce 232)
99. WAR: “Low Rider”/“So” (United Artists 706)
100. WILMER AND THE DUKES: “Give Me One More Chance”/“Get It”
(Aphrodisiac 260)
And,
since Frank Sinatra's "One For My Baby" predates 45s, we've gotta
presume that this joint has a tape of that track all set to play each night at
closing time. "One For My
Baby" isn't a rock 'n' roll record, but it's the most appropriate thing to
play as the definitive rock ‘n’ roll jukebox concludes its business
day. So let's have one for my
baby...and one more for the road.
(Better make it a Dr. Pepper--I’m drivin’.)
(NOTE: these listings were compiled from various reference works,
including Joel Whitburn’s Top Pop Singles book. Corrections are welcomed.)