THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1): rearranging the deck chairs while we wait

I have no news to report regarding my proposed book The Greatest Record Ever Made (Volume 1). The completed book proposal is in the hands of my agent, who will try to find a discerning, elusive someone who would be interested in publishing it. This is the long wait. It could be days, or it could be weeks, or it could be months. The odds are certainly against me, and this may never be published. But I believe in the book, and I believe in my agent. I guess we'll see what happens.

I've continued to work on the book, though it remains about 16-17 chapters shy of a finished first draft. I've tweaked the Table Of Contents, adding and rearranging the blueprint with the goal of making it all flow together (almost) as if it were a single narrative, not a collection of essays. I remember the book's mission statement: Our favorite records don't live in isolation; each one has a story to tell. And I summon the book's central mantra: An infinite number of songs can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns.

I've added chapters on "I Fought The Law" by The Bobby Fuller Four (finished!) and "I Want You Back" by David Ruffin (not even started yet!). I haven't deleted any other songs, but I've switched "Liar, Liar" by The Castaways and "I Don't Want To Grow Up" by The Ramones to Interludes instead of GREM! entries; they're really still GREM! entries, but I call 'em "Interludes" to maintain the fragile illusion that there are only 100 GREM! chapters in the book, when there are really...um, more than that.

I have two other interludes pending: Don Henley's "The Boys Of Summer" (a terrific song that would give me an opportunity to discuss my long-time dislike of The Eagles and acknowledge how that attitude has mellowed over the years--I have three Eagles songs on my iPod) and The Dandy Warhols' "We Used To Be Friends." The former is in the current Table Of Contents for now, the latter might be added. The tweak goes on.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)
OVERTURE: A Fistful Of 45s

1. BADFINGER: Baby Blue

2. CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
3. DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
4. THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
5. ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
6. PATTI SMITH: Gloria
7. LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can't Help It
*8. NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
9. CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin' 
10. WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
11. THE HOLLIES: I Can't Let Go
12. THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
13. BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
14. JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
15. THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
16. GLADYS KNIGHT & THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
17. THE RARE BREED: Beg, Borrow And Steal
18. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You're Gonna Miss Me
19. THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
*20. PAUL REVERE & THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
21. ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
INTERLUDE The Monkees Seize The Day
22. THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
23. KISS: Shout It Out Loud
24. THE RASPBERRIES: I Wanna Be With You
25. THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
26. THE NEW YORK DOLLS: Personality Crisis
INTERLUDE THE CASTAWAYS: Liar, Liar
27. THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
28. THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
29. TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
30. SMOKEY ROBINSON & THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
31. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
*32. TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I'm Not
33. LESLEY GORE: You Don't Own Me
34. THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
*35. P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
36. TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn't I Just Tell You
*37. SHOES: Tomorrow Night
*38. RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
39. BIG STAR: September Gurls
40. PRINCE: When You Were Mine
41. THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
42. THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
INTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of...The Beatles?!
43. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
44. JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
45. GRAND FUNK: We're An American Band
INTERLUDE Old Time Rock & Roll
46. THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
47. SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
48. THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
49. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
50. THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
ENTR'ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
51. MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
52. THE SEARCHERS: Hearts In Her Eyes
53. THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
54. THE SPINNERS: I'll Be Around
55. ALICE COOPER: School's Out
56. BARON DAEMON & THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
57. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
58. THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
INTERLUDE I Don't Want To Grow Up
59. WHAM!: Freedom
*60. DAVID RUFFIN: I Want You Back
61. LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
62. BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
63. THE BYRDS: I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better
*64. OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
65. THE GO-GO'S: We Got The Beat
66. THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
67. GENE PITNEY: Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
68. THE WHO: I Can't Explain
69. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I'll Be Your Mirror
70. FREDDIE & THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
71. THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
72. SAM & DAVE: Soul Man
73. THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
74. THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
75. HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don't Leave Me This Way
76. THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It?
77. PAUL COLLINS: Walking Out On Love

78. T. REX: 20th Century Boy

*79. GRANDMASTER & MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
80. THE KINKS: You Really Got Me
81. THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset
82. THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I'll Be There
83. THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
*84. THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
*85. THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On 
86. MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
87. ELVIS COSTELLO & THE ATTRACTIONS: (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
88. FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
89. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
*INTERLUDE The Boys Of Summer
90. THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
*91. LULU: To Sir, With Love (Museum Outings Montage)
*92. MANNIX: Highway Lines
93. THE SELECTER: On My Radio
94. SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
*95. CHEAP TRICK Surrender
96. DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
97. THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John's Band
*98. THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
*99. EDDIE & THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
100. STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
ENCORE! EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year's Gonna Be Our Year
LAST CALL! THE JAYHAWKS: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
Underrating The Beatles
THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! THE BEATLES: Rain
CLOSING TIME! THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)
CODA: Cruisin' Music
AFTERWORD     

The asterisks denote chapters that aren't finished. Of these, the Grandmaster & Melle Mel chapter is closest to a complete first draft, and the David Ruffin and "The Boys Of Summer" placeholders are the only ones with nothing written yet. (The Dandy Warhols chapter, though not listed here, is about half done.) In the past, I've removed a few completed chapters to make room for other songs I wanted to discuss instead; this lengthens the writing process, but builds a better book in the long run.

I keep a file collecting all of the completed first drafts, in sequence, and I occasionally read through them, to check again how everything fits and flows. It reads like a book. I'm happy with what I've done so far, and I hope you have a chance to read it all someday.

But for now...we wait.