THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (VOLUME 1): Adjusting, Waiting, Still Here

An infinite number of songs can each be THE Greatest Record Ever Made, as long as they take turns.

A pandemic is not the best time to try to sell a book. My proposed book The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) remains in Limbo, its status certainly not helped by the current self-quarantine atmosphere we're all sharing from a distance. I’m still working on it anyway.

You might think this stay-at-home thing would have at least given me plenty of time to finally complete the book’s first draft. In the immortal words of Robin the Boy Wonder, “Holy heck NO, Batman!” But I have completed two more chapters since our last update in March, and I have made a few more minor tweaks to its tentative Table of Contents:



TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User's Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)
A Fistful Of 45s
OVERTURE THE RAMONES: Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?

1. BADFINGER: Baby Blue

2. CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
3. DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
4. THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
5. ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
BONUS TRACK WILLIE MAE "BIG MAMA" THORNTON: Hound Dog
6. PATTI SMITH: Gloria
7. LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can't Help It
*8. NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
9. CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin' 
10. WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
11. THE HOLLIES: I Can't Let Go
12. TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I'm Not
BONUS TRACK LESLEY GORE: You Don't Own Me
13. THE SHANGRI-LAS: Leader Of The Pack
14. THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
*15. OTIS REDDING: (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay
16. ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
17. THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
INTERLUDE The Night I Met Peter Tork
18. THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
INTERLUDE I Dream Of Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, and Tommy (and occasionally Marky, Richie, C.J., and/or new recruits)
*BONUS TRACK PINK FLOYD: Wish You Were Here
19. BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
20. JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
21. SUZI QUATRO: I May Be Too Young
22. ALICE COOPER: School's Out
23. GLADYS KNIGHT & THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
24. THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
*BONUS TRACK MERLE HAGGARD: Mama Tried
25. THE RARE BREED/THE OHIO EXPRESS: Beg, Borrow And Steal
26. PRINCE: When You Were Mine
27. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You're Gonna Miss Me
28. THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
29. PAUL REVERE & THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
30. BARON DAEMON & THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
BONUS TRACK NELSON RIDDLE: The Batman Theme
31. THE WHO: I Can't Explain
32. TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn't I Just Tell You
33. SHOES: Tomorrow Night
34. THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
35. SMOKEY ROBINSON & THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
36. THE NEW YORK DOLLS: Personality Crisis
BONUS TRACK THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It
37. THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
38.  BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
*39. THE RONETTES: Be My Baby
40. KISS: Shout It Out Loud
41. THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
42. THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
BONUS TRACK THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
BONUS TRACK THE WONDERS: That Thing You Do!
43. THE GO-GO'S: We Got The Beat
44. JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
45. GRAND FUNK: We're An American Band
46. THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
47. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
48. THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
*49. P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
50. BIG STAR: September Gurls
BONUS TRACK SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
BONUS TRACK PAUL COLLINS: Walking Out On Love
*ENTR'ACTE THE KINGSMEN: Louie Louie
ENTR'ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
*ENTR'ACTE BOB DYLAN: Like A Rolling Stone
BONUS TRACK THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET: Take Five
*BONUS TRACK RAY CHARLES: Hit The Road Jack
*51. THE MUFFS: Saying Goodbye
52. MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
53. THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
54. MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
55. THE JACKSON FIVE: I'll Be There
56. THE SEARCHERS: Hearts In Her Eyes
BONUS TRACK RICK JAMES: Super Freak (Part 1)
57. THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
58. THE SPINNERS: I'll Be Around
59. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
60. TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
61. LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
62. THE BANDWAGON: Breakin' Down The Walls Of Heartache
*BONUS TRACK DON HENLEY: The Boys Of Summer
63. BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
64. GENE PITNEY: Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
INTERLUDE Old Time Time Rock & Roll
65. THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
66. THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
67. THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
68. HAROLD MELVIN & THE BLUE NOTES: Don't Leave Me This Way
BONUS TRACK GRANDMASTER & MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
69. THE BYRDS: I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better
70. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I'll Be Your Mirror
71. DEL SHANNON: Runaway
72. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
73. THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
74. RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
BONUS TRACK FREDDIE & THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
75. THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
76. SAM & DAVE: Soul Man
*77. BIG BROTHER & THE HOLDING COMPANY: Piece Of My Heart
*78. DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
79. T. REX: 20th Century Boy
80. THE RUNAWAYS: Cherry Bomb
BONUS TRACK AMERICA: Sister Golden Hair
81. THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset 
82. THE KINKS: You Really Got Me
83. THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
*84. THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
85. FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
86. ELVIS COSTELLO & THE ATTRACTIONS: (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
87. THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I'll Be There
88. LULU: To Sir, With Love [Museum Outings Montage]
*BONUS TRACK THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me
INTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of...The Beatles?!
89. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
90. WHAM!: Freedom
*91. THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin' On 

92. THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
93. THE SELECTER: On My Radio
*BONUS TRACK MANNIX: Highway Lines
BONUS TRACK FIRST AID KIT: America
94. SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
*95. CHEAP TRICK Surrender
96. DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
*97. THE O'JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
98. THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John's Band
*99. EDDIE & THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
100. STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
ENCORE! EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year's Gonna Be Our Year
ENCORE!! THE JAYHAWKS: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
INTERLUDE Underrating The Beatles
THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! THE BEATLES: Rain
CODA THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)
Cruisin' Music
AFTERWORD 



The asterisks indicate the 20 unfinished chapters. Chapters on The Wonders and Del Shannon were the two most recently added to the DONE! stack.

I’ve added a few chapters that weren’t in the last update, bringing the total number of songs to 128. The Wonders’ “That Thing You Do!,” First Aid Kit’s “America,” and The Kingsmen’s “Louie, Louie” are new, Big Brother and the Holding Company’s “Piece Of My Heart” and Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone” return to the list after being excised in previous updates, and we bid adieu to The Pretenders’ “Back On The Chain Gang.” I may add two more songs to bring the total to a seemingly rounder number of 130, but I haven’t decided yet. 

And I might take out the numbers themselves, the 1 through 100 which imply a ranking of the songs when my intent is to view each of them as equals, each in its own infinite moment. The numbering was just a gimmick to begin with, a Hot 100 supplemented by Bonus Tracks, Entr’actes, Encores, an Overture, a Coda, and one designated Greatest Record Ever Made!, all gathered together as an excuse to discuss 128 GREMs while maintaining the illusion of a Hot 100. So yeah, the numbers may go away.

I wish things were moving faster with this book...or, really, moving at all. I can’t see a reason to even check in with my agent during a pandemic, figuring she’s gotta have more pressing concerns than a guy trying to write and sell his first book. The world will reopen eventually. I’ll keep on holding on.

Hmmm. Marvelettes? Maybe....



ABOUT THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (VOLUME 1):

I’m pleased to send you the proposal for The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1), a collection of personal essays by writer and radio host Carl Cafarelli.

Our favorite records don’t live in isolation. Each one has a story. Insisting that an infinite number of songs can each be THE greatest record ever made (as long as they take turns), Cafarelli ties together threads connecting classic rock, soul, pop, punk, and bubblegum across decades of hits, misses, critics’ darlings, one-hit wonders, Rock and Roll Hall of Famers, and complete unknowns. The result reads like an irresistible mix tape in book form, compelling the reader to follow its flow from song to song and chapter to chapter as if it were a novel.

As an experienced pop historian and journalist, Cafarelli knows the importance of recording facts and figures accurately. But passion is of equal importance. We don’t crank the volume for fave rave sounds as academics; we listen as fans, as people living our complicated lives with music as not merely its soundtrack, but as its heartbeat. Records reflect our hopes, our disappointments, our successes, our mourning, our love, our bitterness, our fear, and our will to dance in spite of it all.

Why did The Monkees go from the top of the pops in 1967 to seeming has-been status in 1968? How did James Brown respond to the British Invasion? What minefields of racism, sexism, homophobia, ambition, frustration, depression, or loss were navigated by Little Richard, Dusty Springfield, The Go-Go's, Elvis, Sly and the Family Stone, The Kinks, The Beach Boys, The Supremes, and Material Issue's Jim Ellison? Were The Ramones as much a bubblegum band as they were a punk band? When does a group succeed or fail in its quixotic quest to be the next Beatles? 

And why does listening to pop music sometimes make us want to cry?

Carl Cafarelli has written for Goldmine, DISCoveries, The Syracuse New Times, Feral House, Routledge, Visible Ink Press, AHOY Comics, and Rhino Records. Since 1998, he has been the co-host (with Dana Bonn) of the internationally-renowned weekly broadcast and internet radio show This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl, and he is the author of the daily blog Boppin' (Like The Hip Folks Do). The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) mixes history lessons, artist appreciation, and the ways in which the records we love can deeply affect our personal lives.

The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) is unlike any other rock or pop book you’ve ever seen. I look forward to discussing it with you.

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This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio with Dana & Carl airs Sunday nights from 9 to Midnight Eastern, on the air in Syracuse at SPARK! WSPJ 103.3 and 93.7 FM, and on the web at http://sparksyracuse.org/ You can read about our history here.

The many fine This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio compilation albums are still available, each full of that rockin' pop sound you crave. A portion of all sales benefit our perpetually cash-strapped community radio project:

Volume 1: download

Volume 2: CD or download

Volume 3: download

Volume 4: CD or download

Waterloo Sunset--Benefit For This Is Rock 'n' Roll Radio:  CD or download

Hey, Carl's writin' a book! The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1) will contain 124 essays about 124 tracks, each one of 'em THE greatest record ever made. An infinite number of records can each be the greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. Updated initial information can be seen here: THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (Volume 1).